Cruise Chaos Read online

  “I suppose that could be it,” said Ethan, though he didn’t sound convinced.

  It wouldn’t have surprised me though. In fact, I could imagine Felicity letting herself in to not only do some work, but to rearrange the books as well while she was at it. In fact, that the books hadn’t been rearranged made me suspect that hadn’t gotten the chance. She must have been killed before she could.

  “Adrienne?” said Sam, pointing toward the entry door. “The guests are arriving.”

  Chapter 11

  I walked over to the door by the library and tapped the security guard on the elbow.

  I didn’t want them blurting out what had happened to the guests. I knew from experience that it was best to keep knowledge of passenger deaths from the remaining—living—passengers.

  “We’ve got it from here, thanks.” I gently guided him to the side, so that it was me blocking the entrance to the library instead of him.

  “Good morning, everybody!” I said with as much brightness as I could muster.

  One of the keys to a good coverup is to not give anything away. They expected Lady Adrienne of Harkness to be chirpy, and gosh darn it if she wasn’t going to be the chirpiest body-finder who ever sailed.

  “There are minor slight alterations to today’s scheduled events.” I was making it up as I went along. For all I knew, the whole event was going to be canceled. “If you could make your way outside to the pool deck for a further announcement, that would be wonderful.”

  The pool deck was the only ‘outside’ location booked for our event; everything else was to take place in the conference suite. It wasn’t the main Lagoon Pool—we couldn’t requisition that much space for our little event—but we had scheduled times each day for our exclusive use of the smaller aft pool deck for the duration of our cruise.

  “I don’t understand, I don’t understand,” said Edward Dane, pushing his way to the front of the crowd, using his cane like a drill to make a passage ahead of him.

  “Sorry, Mr. Dane, there’s been a slight change of plan,” I said with the sweetest smile I could muster.

  Harley Dane popped out of the throng beside him like a champagne cork exiting a bottle.

  She shook and rolled her shoulders as she arrived, as if removing dust she’d accumulated pushing through the guests. This morning, she was dressed in a lovely pale yellow sundress and adorned with yellow plastic bracelets.

  “Let us in at once! Didn’t you read the script? We’re not to go to the pool now.”

  “I’m well aware of the script,” I said to her. “But there’s been a problem in the library. Unfortunately, it’s out of service at the moment, so we’ll move to the pool deck right now, if you don’t mind.”

  I extended both arms and pointed in the right direction. Pretty much everyone ignored me.

  I stepped forward instead to lead the way.

  Unfortunately, it turned out that Harley Dane did mind the change of venue. Before I could stop her, she’d pushed past Sam and gone into the library behind me.

  “Cornstalks!” I muttered under my breath.

  “Let me in too!” said Oliver McGinty. “My books are in there! Is there a leak? Books and water don’t mix. If my books are water damaged, you’ll have to pay for all of them! Let me see my books!”

  “There’s no leak, I can assure you,” I said, gently taking his arm to stop him. “Your books are fine. Now if you’ll—”

  “It’s fine!” came a yell from in the library. “Everyone, come inside! The body’s ready!”

  Before I could stop them, Oliver McGinty and Mary Mead pushed past me on one side, while I received a nudge on the other from Edward’s cane as he made his own way in.

  “Stop! Don’t go in!” I said in vain.

  The rest of the amateur sleuths pushed around me. Somehow they got the idea that my stopping them was part of the scene. This wasn’t helped by Harley’s encouraging yells.

  “The body’s there! Look for clues, everyone! It’s part of the game!”

  I had to stop this right now. Using my elbows as prodders I forced my way back into the library, just in time to greet with a loud…

  WHEEEE!

  Almost everyone covered their ears at the sudden loud burst of noise.

  “Stop it!” shouted Harley Dane. “You’re not supposed to whistle! You’re not supposed to be here! There’s no sailor boy in this mystery!”

  Ethan didn’t like being called a sailor boy and his next whistle was even louder.

  WHEEEEE!

  This time, the whistle went on longer and continued until Ethan was standing right in front of Harley Dane, blocking her progress and forcing her to cover her ears and step back.

  When the noisy shriek finally stopped, I took the opportunity to hop onto a chair.

  “Pay attention!” I shouted with my ears still ringing from Ethan’s whistle. I’d had enough of being polite.

  “Look at me! Now, listen up and listen carefully. That body is not a prop. It is not a dummy. It is not a mannequin. There has been an accident and someone has died, for real. Please, believe me. This is not Lady Adrienne James of Harkness speaking in my role, this is Adrienne James, Acting Special Event Coordinator! There has been a death and we must leave this room immediately. The doctor needs space and the scene must not be disturbed. All guests are to make their way to the pool deck immediately. Please follow Samantha and make your way there!” I pointed at Samantha who helpfully raised both hands in the air to get everyone’s attention.

  “Follow me, please!” she called.

  When I got down off the chair, Harley Dane approached me.

  “If this is some kind of practical joke, we will be most annoyed.”

  “Please, Harley, look,” I said pointing. “She’s dead. Really dead. We don’t know what happened, but it’s not part of this event. I’m sorry it’s interrupted your husband’s script, but we’re going to have to make some adjustments.”

  Harley looked down at the body, back at me again, and then with a rather distrusting look turned and started to follow the throng.

  Sam was remarkably successful, and like a pied piper for cruising sleuths she soon had almost everyone out of the library and on their way to the pool deck.

  I sat down in the armchair for a moment to take a breather. Ethan started to make his way over to me, then stopped, and a look of alarm crossed his face.

  “Hello! Good morning, everyone!” came a sweet and excited voice.

  I gazed toward the door to look at Kelly Cline, and my mouth dropped open.

  “Hi! Don’t worry, I’ve got it!” Kelly was beaming as she dragged in what appeared to be a corpse by its hair.

  I think we were all so shocked that we assumed someone else would act. But none of us did.

  Kelly marched forward, tap-tapping the floor with her bright blue high heels while she dragged a relatively realistic dummy by its long blond hair across the floor.

  Kelly was wearing a bright blue dress that matched the heels and a blue Alice band in her jet black hair to match the rest of her outfit. A gentle wave of perfume enveloped me as she approached, a light, flowery summery scent that was perfectly opposite the mood of the room. As was her cheery demeanor.

  Kelly dragged her dummy two more steps before she saw the actual body in front of her. She let go of the fistful of hair she was holding, and the dummy’s head dropped to the floor with a wicked thump.

  We all winced.

  “Kelly—” I began.

  “Shoot! I messed up, didn’t I? Someone else already arranged a dummy!”

  “No, Kelly, what’s happened—” said Ethan Lee, walking toward her with an arm stretched out. I imagined he was going to take her by the arm and walk her away.

  Kelly took another step forward, frowning, then pulled back her leg and—before any of us could stop her—she kicked what she thought was a dummy on the floor.

  There was a soft thud as her shoe connected with the dead body in front of her.

  �
��Stupid Kelly!” she said, berating herself as she went to kick the corpse again.

  “No!” we all shouted out.

  She looked up at us all in alarm. Ethan reached her and took her by the elbow.

  “Kelly,” I said, “that’s not a dummy. Someone really died.”

  At first, she tilted her head in confusion.

  Then she looked down at the body again.

  Then she looked up and saw the serious looks on the faces of everyone in the room.

  “Oh… SHOOT!”

  And then she fainted in Ethan’s arms.

  Outside by the pool, I was pleased to see that Samantha had everything mostly in hand.

  With the help of Greg, another trolley full of breakfast foods had been provided, and the guests were milling around chatting. It seemed a real murder was just as entertaining as a pretend one for most of them, and I couldn’t hear too many grumblings of complaint as I approached.

  I watched as Samantha went around, handing out drinks to everyone, accompanied by a pool boy who was following right behind her with every step.

  “I see you’ve found another helper,” I said, grinning at Sam.

  She looked over her shoulder and seemed to be surprised to see the pool boy right behind her. “Yeah. He’s been a big help. What’s your name again?”

  “Shaun. I’m Shaun and… I mean, Anderson. I mean, I’m Shaun Anderson.”

  He stumbled over his words so many times I thought there might be something wrong with him at first, then I realized he was just nervous. His name rang a bell though.

  I remembered: Felicity had mentioned him in her notebook. Something about him bringing wet towels and being generally incompetent.

  I stepped up onto a sun lounger, being careful the heels of my shoes didn’t fall between the plastic slats.

  “Can I have everyone’s attention?”

  Curiously, everyone turned to look at me, perhaps wondering what my next trick would be after the genuine corpse in the library.

  “We’re going to have to adjust our schedule somewhat, and re-script some of the plot. From now on, the events marked as happening in the library will be moved to the lounge, unless otherwise noted. Please stay around this area for the time being for future announcements. Any major changes will also be sent to you via email. Thank you.”

  I was surprised when the crowd burst into a round of applause.

  It didn’t exactly seem appropriate considering the circumstances. But it made me think.

  The whole murder mystery event seemed even more inappropriate than it had before the cruise began, now that an actual death had occurred. I’d have to check with Kelly that corporate HQ really wanted to proceed. I shuddered as a chill went down my spine, realizing I was going to have to rearrange a fake murder due to the inconvenience of the real murder.

  I stepped down from the lounger and sat on the edge of it, my knees pulled up in front of me. I had some thinking to do.

  There was something about the murder that just seemed… odd.

  Chapter 12

  Sam walked over to where I was sitting. Behind her, I could see the pool boy Shaun staring after her longingly.

  “Hey,” she said, sitting down beside me.

  “This is a nightmare,” I said, shaking my head and squeezing my knees with my hands.

  “Are we really carrying on with it?”

  I nodded. “Kelly said we’re to carry on like normal—well, as normal as we can make it. If corporate wants to cancel it, she’ll let us know. In the meantime, we’re just to adjust as needed and proceed.”

  “Wow.” Sam stretched out her legs in front of her, and leaned back using her arms as support.

  “Did you think there was anything… odd?” I asked.

  “Nope. Dead bodies seem to be pretty normal around here.”

  I playfully smacked her leg in admonishment.

  “I mean specifically about how it happened.”

  “Well, it was quite brutal, I guess.”

  “I know. But what I mean is, it’s just like in the script.”

  “Ohh,” said Sam. “Actually, I didn’t read it all yet.”

  I rolled my eyes. The event had already started and she hadn’t even read the script for it yet.

  “Well, you should have read it. But the point is, in the script, the victim is murdered in the library, with a brass candlestick holder. Felicity was killed in exactly the same way.”

  “Huh. Coincidence?”

  “Maybe,” I said. “I guess it was probably one of the better murder weapons in the library.”

  “But if it wasn’t a coincidence, then does that mean someone was trying to send a message, or something? Why would they want to copy the script exactly?”

  That was a point. Why would anyone want to ‘copy’ a fictional murder? While there had been incidents of that happening, it seemed unlikely in this case.

  “If it was deliberate, then that narrows down the suspects, doesn’t it?” I said.

  “Why?” asked Sam.

  “Only a few of us have had access to the script. If someone deliberately used the story when they committed the murder, then they must have known the story themselves, right?”

  “Oh! So who had access to the script?”

  “Well, Edward Dane wrote it, so him. You and me. Cece and Greg got copies of it. Kelly, too. Anyone else?”

  Sam pulled her legs in and sat up straight. “Harley Dane probably knew what was in it, unless he keeps his stories to himself.”

  “Right. I can’t imagine she’d have any reason to kill Felicity though. She wasn’t in her notebook, anyway.”

  “Maybe she was worried Felicity would steal Edward away from her.”

  “Ha!” I said and then clapped a hand over my mouth. Several people had turned to look at me. “I don’t think she would have had anything to worry about in that regard. Felicity wasn’t exactly a charmer.”

  Sam poked me in the side. “That’s about the meanest thing I’ve heard you say about a customer.”

  I giggled. It probably was. I don’t like to talk badly about our customers, even if I do sometimes have less than perfectly complimentary thoughts about them.

  While we chatted, I watched the guests, trying to get a sense of their mood. What would be ideal would be if they, as a group, announced they didn’t want to continue with the murder mystery. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the vibe I was getting from our position. They all seemed to be quite excited.

  Finally, Sam stood up. “I’d better see if I can restock the drinks cart. They’ve just about finished everything off.”

  I waved her off, returning to my thoughts about what was going on. For approximately two seconds, anyway.

  “Adrienne! Adrienne!”

  I turned and stood up when I saw Kelly Cline approaching me, an apologetic smile on her face.

  “Hi, Adrienne. Sorry about earlier.”

  “Don’t worry about it, you weren’t to know.”

  “I didn’t mean to kick your corpse. I was just frustrated. Can you forgive me?”

  “Of course!” Though I would prefer it if you wouldn’t call it my corpse. “Did you speak to corporate?”

  “Oh yes, good news!” Her face lit up like a little Christmas tree.

  “They’re canceling?”

  Her lit-up face turned to a frown.

  “No. They said we’re to carry on. I thought you’d be pleased. This is your big event, isn’t it?”

  “Right, yes, I’m pleased,” I said, not wanting to disappoint her. “I’m just surprised!”

  “Oh good. They wanted to cancel it, but I told them, Adrienne James is a determined woman, and she’ll make this the best murder there ever was on a Swan ship!”

  Now I wasn’t sure if she was talking about the event or the actual murder.

  “Thanks for putting in a good word for me. I guess I better speak to Edward Dane and see if we can get the script adjusted a little.”

  “Oh, that’s a good idea. You have
lots of great ideas, don’t you, Adrienne?”

  “Thanks,” I said, pleased. It’s nice to be recognized.

  “I’ve got to go. I’ve got three trillion things to do!”

  “I bet you do,” I said, giving her shoulder a squeeze.

  “Good luck!” she said and began to walk away. Then she turned and looked over her shoulder, brushing some of her dark hair out of the way with a hand. “If you need anything, my door’s always open!”

  I watched her as she hurried away at double speed, her phone already pressed up against her ear.

  After Kelly disappeared back inside, I looked around for Edward Dane. I didn’t spot him immediately, but I did get an excellent view of the next disaster to befall our group of amateur sleuths.

  Samantha was standing by the breakfast cart chatting with Greg, while on the other side of the swimming pool Shaun Anderson was carrying a stack of towels. As he walked along the edge of the pool, he kept his gaze on Samantha the entire time, turning his head more and more as he progressed further and further along his route.

  This was fine—until it reached a point where he could no longer see where he was going and, completely oblivious, walked straight into Mary Mead.

  The amateur writer happened to be in the hovering position between sitting and standing as she was about to lie down on a sun lounger. Being off-balance already, the full weight of the pool boy crashing into her was enough to make her stumble.

  “Oh!” said Shaun in shock.

  His head whipped back straight and when he saw that he had crashed into someone, he flew out an arm to try and stop her falling.

  Unfortunately it didn’t work as planned, and instead of his arm stopping her from falling, it ended up giving her an extra push. It was just enough to send Mary flying into the swimming pool.

  I rushed just as fast as I could in my fancy gown around the pool.

  Idiot, I was thinking in my head. I’d never say something so mean to a person though.

  When I got there, Mary had her hands on the edge of the pool and was taking a few deep breaths. Shaun was standing by the edge of the pool, a look of embarrassed consternation on his youthful face.