Cruise Control: A Humorous Cruise Ship Cozy Mystery (Cruise Ship Cozy Mysteries Book 11) Read online

  Cruise Control

  A.R. Winters

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  7. Vernon

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Blurb

  Untitled

  Sneak Peak: A Berry Deadly Welcome

  Chapter Two

  Cruise Control

  Copyright 2020 by A. R. Winters

  www.arwinters.com

  This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only.

  This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental.

  Chapter One

  Ah, the Swan of the Seas, my home away from home.

  Or my workplace away from home.

  However that line was supposed to go.

  It was probably my real home at this point. Nebraska felt like it was so far behind me, even though I had visited recently to see my parents. I’d probably visit again at some point. Maybe I’d bring Ethan with me.

  Whenever that was, it was a long way away. Nebraska definitely lacked proper ports for the Swan to ever make a voyage there.

  Dragging my rolling suitcase up the gangway, I headed up the deck and toward the manager’s office. This could have been like clocking in were this any other normal job. It was mostly just finding my superior saying, ‘Hi! I’m here and I didn’t get kidnapped when I was on shore.’

  Again.

  Most voyages had a pre-cruise briefing so the cruise director, Kelly, could speak to all the staff at once—but apparently, this cruise was going to be different from our usual cruises, and that included skipping the large briefing.

  Kelly Cline was stress made flesh. She seemed to be the very definition of a workaholic, typing away at her laptop at three times normal human speed as I entered her room, all while chatting away on her headset phone.

  “I don’t understand how it won’t be a complete disaster! I mean, I still have a billion emails to send, and—I don’t know—I’ll have to take it up with one of our chefs on board. Besides, my stapler is still missing… Hello, hello? Shoot!” She peered at her telephone and put her headset away.

  “I must have clicked the wrong button,” she said, turning to me with a confused frown. “Adrienne! You’re early.”

  I checked my phone. I was technically late, but I wasn’t going to tell her that. “You know me, always here and ready to do some Twitter.”

  “Yes, yes, about that. No Twitter this time.”

  “What, are we having some sort of spat with Twitter now? Am I supposed to lean on Instagram? Facebook?”

  “No. None of that. No social media for this trip.”

  I raised an eyebrow. As the ship’s social media director, her telling me this was like telling the chef that there was no food to cook.

  “Uh, is this some roundabout way of firing me or something? Did I miss another email from you?”

  “Oh, no, perish the thought. Why would I fire my prized social media director?”

  “Because there won’t be any social media posts?”

  “Oh, Adrienne, you’re so silly. This trip is just… uh, special.”

  Hoo boy. Another ‘special’ trip.

  Special trips were the most fun, in that they weren’t. Whether you have people clamoring to be millionaires or refusing to look a day past twenty, special trips tended to bring some eccentric elements onto the ship.

  This had turned out poorly for me so far.

  Kelly went on, ignoring my concerned expression. “We’re doing another company’s get together, some sort of team-building exercise. The management wants all of their employees to feel like a family. Have you ever heard of LightningBlossom?”

  “Uh, no? Do they sell electric flowers or something?”

  “Really? Huh, I figured someone as connected as you would know about all the hot new tech companies.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t follow tech news. I take pictures of food and try to make the Swan of the Seas look like the most magical place on the planet.” I was basically an advertiser, but it didn’t mean I couldn’t have fun with it.

  Part of me did worry that I focused on food too much. The ship had fine food, but New Orleans wasn’t lacking restaurants for someone to indulge themselves in either. I think I may have ended up putting on a little weight whenever we docked there.

  “Adrienne, their management tells me they’re on the verge of something truly big. In a year or two, people are going to be mentioning them in the same breath as Facebook and Google.”

  “So wait, we’re hosting a tech giant and you… want me to avoid technology?”

  “Exactly! The CEO has some… let’s say progressive opinions on how a company should be run.”

  “Progressive?”

  “Maybe a better word is alternative? It may seem strange to you and me, but I don’t think it’s a bad thing. He’s very successful, so he must know what he’s doing!”

  I pushed back a strand of hair that had fallen out of place in my rush to get to the ship earlier. My expression remained a befuddled one because I had no clue what Kelly wanted me to do this cruise.

  Kelly continued explaining. “So, the company’s owner, Vernon Nunn? You probably would have heard of him if you paid attention to the news. He works something like four hours a day, and then? He disconnects. From everything. And I mean everything! No computers, no TV, no phone.”

  My eyes went wide, fear striking me in a way that it hadn’t in quite some time. “No… no phone?”

  “He sees all electronic devices as little vampires or something. Like they suck out your soul, and that we’d all be more productive limiting our use of them.”

  An eyebrow cocked, I stared at her. “And he’s a tech guy?”

  Kelly pressed her lips together in thought. “I can’t wrap my head around some of it either… Imagine getting any work done in four hours! But what you or I think of his philosophies doesn’t matter! He’s paying Swan to provide a world-class experience, and for us to help him enforce his rules of unplugging.”

  “And who are all these LightningBlossom people?”

  Kelly smiled. “Most of their C-Suite of executives as well as all of their employees. Attendance is mandatory. This comes with good news and bad news.”

  “Oh boy.” I knew my phone was in danger, and that terrified me.

  “Most of the standard suites are being reserved for the employees of LightningBlossom. The executives and other VIPs will get one section of the lodging area to themselves, the one with the easiest access to the conference room. As such, you and Samantha will be staying in a different room. You’re getting to stay in VIP suites for this trip, Adrienne.”

  “What? Really?” My eyes lit up. My best friend Sam and I shared a small staff cabin on most trips, and the tiny room always felt a bit claustropho
bic. Ethan had promised to try to get us upgraded to a slightly larger room…

  A VIP room, though? Amazing!

  A hotel suite on the waves. A giant TV. Huge plush couch. A full-size refrigerator. Just lots of perks that made anyone with the money to do so simply exclaim, ‘Yes, please, I’d like that upgrade.’

  Then I remembered the phrasing Kelly had used in talking to me. “You said there was good news and bad news. What’s the bad news?”

  “Oh, yes. You know what I said about Vernon Nunn thinking electronics are vampires or whatever? Swan is enforcing that for the whole ship.”

  I ran my hand through my hair, really hating that I hadn’t given it the proper care and attention it deserved this morning. “How does he plan on doing that? It’s one thing to police an office space, but we’re on a gigantic cruise ship.”

  “We’re disconnecting all devices on the ship for wifi, the satellites, everything. We’re even installing some cell phone signal killers in case any phones are snuck on. If it doesn’t have to be on for safety reasons or cleanliness, anything that didn’t exist before 1990 is getting shut down for this trip.”

  I stared at Kelly like she had just told me my puppy had died. “1990? There are people who work on this ship who weren’t even born yet in 1990.”

  Kelly simply smiled apologetically. “Vernon wants to party like it’s 1989, and we’ve got to oblige, Adrienne. This will be a techless trip. Not just for the employees, but for everyone.”

  Briefly, I considered running back to shore, away from this terrifying endeavor of no Twitter, Facebook, or basic human needs such as Instagram.

  Kelly’s closet door shifted and caught my eye, and I felt my heart rate pick up a little bit in panic.

  I stared at the door as it moved. “Uh… is someone in your closet?”

  “Oh, shoot, I totally forgot! I told her to hide before you got here, and her being in there just slipped my mind. She must be getting antsy.”

  I stopped staring at the door and stared at Kelly instead. “You told someone to hide in your closet? Isn’t that a breach of some kind of HR rule?”

  Kelly laughed. “Don’t be silly! I just wanted to surprise you. Come on out, Holly!”

  The surprise half-ruined already, a woman popped out of the closet, a huge beaming grin on her face.

  If Kelly was stress made flesh, then this girl was pure enthusiasm. She seemed to be almost vibrating in place. Tanned, her hair was in a short pixie cut, dyed a subdued shade of red. The color was natural enough that you’d only question its authenticity if you really looked at it, or simply knew your stuff like I did, thanks to the Beauty Forever cruise workshops I’d attended.

  “Hi!” she nearly screamed in a high pitched voice. “I’m Holly!”

  She offered her hand and I shook it, suddenly feeling uneasy around her.

  Kelly smiled. “That kind of enthusiasm is exactly what I’m looking for in a hire. Or an intern, at least.”

  “Intern?” I repeated.

  “Oh, yes. I think it’s time to inject some new blood into this ship, give the crew some extra hands to get things done. We’re all running around doing a billion things at once. More hands are always useful. Holly here is going to be working under you in our social media division.”

  The social media division that, up until this point, had been me and only me and me alone. I sort of liked it that way, for better or worse. I got complete control and felt like I was my own boss.

  “Wait… I thought you said I wasn’t going to be doing social media on this trip? Social media didn’t exist in 1990.”

  Kelly glanced at Holly and then back at me. She hadn’t thought of that. “Oh… um… well, just introduce her around the ship as you do the job you’re supposed to do.”

  “What job am I supposed to do if it’s not Twitter?”

  “You’ll be assisting Sam in doing customer liaison stuff this time around. You know, see what the passengers need and be there for them.”

  “So… customer service?”

  Kelly nodded. “Yes. Will that be a problem?”

  My mouth tried to start ten different sentences before I settled on one. “I don’t know if putting me in customer service is really the best idea. I’m not a people person.”

  I could get by okay, and I had managed to talk to people and act like a normal adult in the past, but I never thought of myself as outgoing. Definitely not like Sam, and definitely not to the point that I could be relied on to teach others. Or even assist others with their needs.

  “Oh, it’ll be fine! I know a lot of tech guys don’t like to socialize either, so you’ll fit right in.”

  I crossed my arms and glared at her.

  “Don’t sweat it, Adrienne! Be natural. You are a natural. You can give Holly the social media rundown on the next voyage.”

  “So, boss, where do we start?” Holly said, looking at me with that overflowing earnestness.

  Kelly nodded approvingly. “Looks like you’re fast on track to being friends. All right, Adrienne, Holly, I still have a million and one things to prepare for, so if you’ll excuse me.”

  Kelly stared at me with that smile on her face, the smile that said it was time for us to go. I got along with Kelly okay, and she was a nice enough person, but she was still my boss.

  “Come on then, uh… Holly.”

  “Yes, sir, Mr. Addy, sir. I mean Ms. Addy. Sorry. I’m usually shadowing old guys for these jobs.”

  Was she some sort of serial intern or something?

  Leaving Kelly to her next endeavor of stress, I dragged my suitcase back into the hallway, Holly still hanging onto me in every way other than literally hanging onto my arm. “So, come on! What do we do first? Tell me!”

  “Uh…” Usually, I would go and try to get some scenic shots of a view or breakfast or whatever, but if I was just supposed to do Sam’s job? There weren’t exactly any customers to liaison with just yet.

  Besides, I tried to spend the first few minutes or hours of a new cruise hanging out with Sam and Cece, before the workload really started.

  My phone buzzed with an incoming message. The signal killers must not have been engaged just yet.

  The girls wanted to meet for breakfast and it did sound like the best way to get this day going. Alone. Without Holly asking what we should be doing every five seconds.

  “So, uh, Holly, I’m thinking the best way for you to learn right now is through exploration. I want you to go off and explore the ship for yourself. Ask the staff questions, learn where everything is.”

  “Ooo, I see! Like one of those fancy schools with original teaching techniques. You’re a genius, Addy. I hope we’re going to be really good friends.”

  How did someone come off like this? Holly seemed like she had never encountered a single problem in her entire life.

  Had I ever been like this? I thought I was still naïve at times now, but even with some experience, I must have been blind to the entire world once.

  Too much had happened for me to still be that innocent, but I could still smile and look forward to a bright future.

  However, I knew that the future wasn’t as brilliant as Holly seemed to think it was.

  She smiled at me brightly. “We’ll meet back up later right, sensei?”

  “Uh yes. Sure.” I stared at her, trying to make sense of her. “And don’t call me sensei. Or mister. Or miss. Just Addy or Adrienne is fine, thank you.”

  “Right. Sorry, Ms. Addy. Oops! I mean, sorry, Addy.”

  She wasn’t actually skipping when she left to do my lesson of exploration, but it would not have been out of place one bit for her.

  I let out a long sigh. That was a whole lot more testing and draining that the start of my trips usually were.

  Unpack my stuff first, and then unpack myself with my friends. It was a good enough way as any to start the day.

  Chapter Two

  The Boulevard Café was kind of our place.

  We didn’t actually own it, but for
as long as we were on this ship, the café always felt warm and welcoming.

  Waiting for me when I got there were Cece and Sam. Sam had been my best friend since elementary school, as close as a true sister could ever be. Cece I hadn’t known as long, but with everything we’d been through at this point, I could almost call her a sister as well.

  “You look exhausted and it’s only your first day back, Addy,” Sam said as I plopped down in a chair across from her.

  “I’ve had a bit of a rough awakening this morning.”

  “Didn’t sleep well?”

  “No, everything was fine until I got on the ship and heard the news.”

  Both of them shook their heads.

  Cece spoke up first. “I guess you heard about the insane rules they’re forcing on us for this trip?”

  “No internet? No phones? Not even satellite TV?” I asked. “What kind of savage place has this ship become?”

  “Can you really believe that people actually lived without those things?”

  “For thousands of years. Thousands!” Sam said. “What did people even do then?”

  “Read?” I picked up the café menu and thought about what I wanted to order. Usually, the three of us would start off our days with a miserable breakfast in the staff canteen below deck, but I was glad we’d decided on a nicer way to start this cruise.

  “Books didn’t exist for most of that time, and people were still illiterate even after they were invented.”

  I leaned forward to pat them both on the shoulders. “I’m sure that somehow, some way, we can make it through this. I believe in us.”

  Cece nodded. “Roughing it. Like a camping trip, except we’re still on a super luxurious cruise ship.”