Lethal Cruise: A Humorous Cruise Ship Cozy Mystery (Cruise Ship Cozy Mysteries Book 9) Read online

  Lethal Cruise

  A.R. Winters

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Bruno

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Blurb

  Untitled

  Sneak Peak: A Berry Deadly Welcome

  Chapter Two

  Lethal Cruise

  Copyright 2020 by A. R. Winters

  www.arwinters.com

  This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only.

  This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental.

  Thank you for downloading this book!

  Grab your copies of two FREE A.R. Winters cozy mysteries:

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  Chapter One

  My friend Cece and I stood on the deck, looking out at the dull gray buildings of New Orleans port and the glint of skyscrapers in the distance. We were clutching our last cups of ‘land coffee’ from a nearby café before setting sail.

  “Hey, guys,” Sam said, greeting us with a smile as she sidled up beside us.

  The blonde-haired Sam was my best friend from back home, and now my coworker aboard the Swan of the Seas cruise ship. Along with Cece, who we met working on board the ship, we made a close little trio of friends.

  “Where did you get to?” Cece asked with raised eyebrows.

  We had all come back aboard together after our last foray ashore to grab the coffees. Somehow, Sam had fallen behind us.

  “Oh, I had to show someone where to go.”

  “Already? Ha!” Cece said, shaking her head and rolling her eyes at the thought of a difficult customer so soon.

  “Not like that.” Sam’s brow crinkled. “A new guy, some kind of personal trainer.”

  That had our attention. Cece’s head whipped around from staring at the shore to look back at Sam. “A new guy? What’s he look like?”

  “Oh, I don’t know.” Sam had a small smile on her lips. “Just a guy.”

  I poked her in the arm. “You’ve already got a guy. The pool boy, remember?”

  Sam waved her hand dismissively.

  “No, we’re not together. He’s nice, sure, but I think he might be a bit… boring.”

  “His abs sure aren’t boring,” Cece said.

  Shaun Anderson was the pool boy in question, and he’d been crushing on Sam for ages. They had gone out for drinks a few times but apparently nothing had come of it. I wasn’t sure if he was over her, though.

  “What’s this new guy’s name? You say he’s a personal trainer? How tall is he? He sounds like my type.” Cece’s questions came rapid-fire, and her eyes were alight with interest.

  “Cece! You’re dating Doctor Ryan, remember?”

  “I know, I know. I’m just curious,” she said, trying to sound innocent. “Maybe I’ll give Sam a hand hooking him.”

  “I’m sure I don’t need any help, thanks,” Sam said with a grin. “How was your shore leave, Adrienne?”

  I took a sip of the hot, bitter coffee before answering. My shore leave hadn’t exactly been exciting this time around. But then again, boring was nice compared to the last cruise.

  “Not bad. Ethan and I were trying to work out who it was that’s been messing with me. You know, the Arizona postcards, the diner set, that script for a movie about what happened to me—all that stuff.”

  Sam rested a supportive hand on my forearm. “Any progress?”

  “Some. We figure it’s someone who works for Swan, and we’ve narrowed it down to a list of all the employees who were hired around the same time as me or after. We’ve been crossing out names, getting rid of people who clearly have no connection.”

  “I hope you can figure out who it is during this cruise.”

  “Yeah, then we’ll kick their butts,” said Cece punching me on the arm in a way that was probably supposed to be encouraging, but felt more like she wanted to deaden my nerves.

  We lapsed into silence. There was nothing more I could tell them—all we had was a list of names.

  It was strangely peaceful aboard the ship. “Strangely” because it was never peaceful once all the customers were aboard. That meant the peace wouldn’t last much longer.

  “So, the Beauty Forever Cruise,” I said with a half-smile on my lips. “Excited?”

  “Nope. I don’t need it,” Cece said, striking a pose like a model up against the ship’s railing.

  “It’s not for us anyway,” Sam said. “It’s for the guests. I saw a list of the specialists they’ve got coming on board earlier. We’ve got a big assortment of experts.”

  “Like who?” I asked.

  I hadn’t kept up with the company emails recently, spending most of my time working with Ethan to narrow down our list of suspects, and of course a few rather nice, low-key dates when we had the time.

  “There’s all kinds. Beauticians, dietitians, anti-aging experts, makeup artists, hair people, skin people.” She threw her arms out expansively. “Everything. There’s even a nurse who’s going to be doing Botox injections.”

  “Well, I won’t be needing that,” Cece said, glancing at me and Sam as if to indicate that perhaps we should consider it.

  Sam and I both glared at her. We weren’t exactly old, but Cece was definitely the baby in our group at only twenty years old. We had nearly a decade on her, and she really liked to rub it in sometimes.

  “I just hope they’re not as crazy as the beauty pageant participants,” I said, as I thought back to one of our previous exciting cruises.

  “Or the celebrity chef, or the scrapbookers,” said Cece.

  “Or that motivational speaker,” said Sam.

  “Or the movie people,” I finished with a shudder.

  It was true, we’d had a lot of difficult customers and VIPs over the tours we had worked together. After so many weird experiences, I couldn’t say I was overly optimistic about a beauty-themed cruise—people obsessed with their looks could often be crazy in other ways too.

  “Oh,” Sam said, “but there are models. Male models.”

  Cece and I both looked at Sam.

  “Male models, you say?” I asked innocently.

  “Sign me up for whatever they’re doing,” Cece said, rubbing her hands together.

  “Sure, there’s—” Before she could continue, she slapped a hand across her mouth. First Officer Hot Stuff—I mean, First Officer Ethan Lee—was heading straight for us. Not only was he the ship’s First Officer, he was the head of ship security and, when he wasn’t too busy with all of that, my boyfriend.

  “No more talk of male models,” Sam said. “He’ll get jealous.”

  “I’m sure he won’t be jealous,” I said with a laug
h. “Ethan isn’t like that.”

  “Like what?” he asked as he approached with a relaxed, confident smile. Despite being my boyfriend, as we were in a public space and Swan had strict rules, he greeted me with an affectionate squeeze of the arm rather than anything more intimate.

  “Oh, nothing,” I dismissed his question in an instant. Or so I thought.

  The girls weren’t going to let me get away with that.

  “We were just talking about all the pictures Addy is going to take of the male models,” Cece said.

  “Apparently they’re very handsome.”

  My cheeks flushed red. That was not what we had been talking about. We had barely even mentioned the models. Let alone me taking pictures of them. I was sure they had their own professional photographers.

  “They’re part of the Beauty Forever cruise,” I explained. “I don’t know anything about them. Sam seems to be the expert.”

  Ethan smiled politely. “I hope you’ll forgive me for not having the same interest in these gentlemen as you three do. Are you all set for another cruise?”

  “Did we get a new captain?” Cece asked.

  “Yes, Captain Jonathan Ellman. Were you not at the safety briefing earlier? He should have been there to introduce himself.”

  “Nope,” I said with a little shake of my head. “We were there, but he wasn’t.”

  The safety briefing had been as dull as dishwater, like always. We had been reminded that we were not allowed to set off fireworks or light fires inside the ship—no matter how much we may have wanted to make s’mores. Nor were we to throw anything or anyone overboard. And furthermore, drilling air holes below the waterline was also frowned upon. At least I think that’s what they said. I heard it so many times before that I hadn’t really been paying attention to this one. I’d been thinking about hurrying off back to shore to get our final coffees in. Coffees which were now sadly just about drained.

  “Oh,” Ethan said with a frown. “Something must have come up to delay him. I’m sure you’ll meet him soon enough. From what I hear, he’s an energetic go-getter.”

  “Energetic go-getter?” said Sam extending her arm and pointing toward the dock. “I don’t suppose that’s…” She didn’t finish the sentence, instead letting us do it as we stared down at the dock.

  We all peered down, and sure enough, there was a man in a captain’s uniform, hurrying over to the ship at triple speed. Even from way up high on the deck, we could tell he was hot and flustered.

  “Well, at least he’ll be an improvement on the last captain,” I said hopefully.

  “Yeah, he was a real nasty one,” Cece agreed. “I wonder how he’s doing now.”

  “Last I heard, he’s still waiting for his trial,” Ethan said. “Prosecutors are pretty hopeful.”

  “Thank goodness we no longer have to deal with him! I think this is going to be a fun cruise,” Sam said.

  I stared out toward New Orleans, hoping she was right.

  A long whistle blew.

  “That’s me,” Ethan said. “And you too, I guess. Time to meet our next crop of passengers and VIPs.”

  I downed the last of my coffee, crumpled up the cup, and braced myself.

  This cruise was going to be fun. I could tell already.

  Chapter Two

  I always liked to watch the new passengers board at the beginning of a cruise.

  As part of my job as the social media manager, it’s good to get a few pictures of this moment that’s so exciting for the passengers.

  But more than that, it’s kind of fun to look at all the guests and work out which ones were going to be a delight to sail with and which were… not.

  Sam, as a customer liaison, was working as a roving ambassador, answering people’s questions as they arrived or pointing them in the right direction. Cece, as a member of the housekeeping department, was off making sure all the staterooms were shipshape. At least that’s what she should have been doing.

  Smartphone in hand, camera app open, I scanned the arrivals for people of interest. We always started by boarding the VIP passengers who would get the extra special treatment that the Very Important deserved. Oh, and the rich. No matter how undeserving.

  This time, some of our Beauty Forever experts were boarding first.

  Sam nudged me. “Look at those women. What do you think they do?”

  The women in question were wearing dark green uniforms and had their hair held up tidily in buns or neat ponytails, and each of them was carrying what looked like a medical bag.

  “Let’s ask them.”

  We wandered over to the group of women.

  “Hi, guys! Welcome aboard the Swan of the Seas,” Sam said brightly.

  “Hey,” “Hi,” and “Hello,” they greeted us along with pleasant and professional smiles.

  “Could I get a picture?” I waved my phone in front of them. “I do the ship’s social media.”

  “Sure,” said a dark-haired woman at the front with a friendly smile. “I’m Bethany, I’m a dermatologist.”

  “And I’m Parker, I do makeup,” said the woman beside her, a short blonde girl in her early twenties.

  “Jen,” said another with a smile. “Manicures.”

  “Wonderful! This should be the best-looking cruise we’ve ever had, once you’ve all done your work,” I said to them while I began to snap some pictures.

  Sam cocked her head. “Some of our regular guests do need a lot of work, though.”

  We all shared a laugh. Of course we wouldn’t make jokes like that once the customers were aboard. At least not where they could hear us.

  “And some of us.”

  Sam nodded at me, drawing a peal of laughter from the beauty experts.

  “Do we check in over there?” asked Bethany, nodding toward the clearly labeled check-in area.

  “Sure do,” I said with a grin.

  We waved them off happily, while we looked for more interesting guests to arrive. There were the usual middle-aged couples dripping in gold and jewelry ready to begin their VIP cruises, and assorted other wealthy-looking types. A lot of them didn’t like having their photos taken, so I tended to avoid them unless they struck me as friendly.

  “Ooh, look, another beautician…” Sam motioned toward the entranceway. “Or something.”

  The woman who boarded was wearing a white nurse’s uniform with an emblem sewn onto the chest. We began to walk toward her, and as we got closer I could see what it was: a very happy looking syringe.

  I’d never seen a happy syringe before, and it certainly drew my attention. It had two big round eyes and a grinning mouth on the cylinder, and drops of liquid were excitedly bursting forth from the needle end.

  “Hi,” I said to what I supposed was a medical professional. “I’m Addy, the social media manager. Welcome aboard!”

  The woman stopped and smiled, looking almost as happy as the syringe emblazoned on her uniform. She was of average height and had shiny blonde hair, bright blue eyes that twinkled like the sea, and a ready smile with gleaming white teeth for the pair of us.

  “I’m Jessica.” She held out a dainty hand with bright pink nails. “This is my first time aboard a cruise ship. I’m a bit nervous!”

  Sam and I took turns shaking her hand, and gave her the most encouraging looks we could.

  “You’ll love it,” I said. “It’s like a floating home away from home, with all the amenities of a hotel—and every day, you wake up somewhere different!”

  “And if you get seasick, which you probably won’t, they can give you some meds in the sickbay,” said Sam.

  Unfortunately for her, my friend had suffered from seasickness during our first cruise, but she had soon gotten over it. Seasickness wasn’t too common on a ship as large and steady as ours.

  “That’s very reassuring,” she said with a smile. “I suppose I’ll be too busy working to worry about seasickness or anything like that anyway.”

  “What is it you do?” I gestured toward the sy
ringe symbol on her chest.

  “Can’t you tell?” She pointed to the corners of her eyes, and then to her forehead.

  “Oh! You do Botox injections, right?” said Sam excitedly.

  “Yep! Botox, and better than that, Phytox too. I do other beauty treatments but,” she tapped the emblem on her chest, “sticking people is my bread and butter!”

  “Do you think I need some?” Sam asked, leaning into Jessica’s face so that she could get a proper look.

  Jessica’s head jerked back just a little, her eyes wide with surprise. She probably hadn’t been thinking she’d start work quite so early.

  “You look great!” I said to Sam loudly but with a hint of disapproval. We were too young to start worrying about things like that.

  “Oh, you certainly don’t need anything. You’ve got lovely skin.”

  I nodded in agreement with Nurse Jessica, and Sam smiled brightly at the compliment she’d so amateurishly fished for.

  “…but even young people like ourselves can benefit.” Jessica pointed at her forehead. “I started nearly ten years ago!”

  I blinked in surprise. “Ten years ago? You must have been about fifteen!”

  “Thank you, you’re ever so sweet. But I’m actually,” she pushed her head close to ours and dropped her voice down to a low whisper, “thirty-eight! Can you believe it?”

  “I can’t believe it!” I stared intently at her face looking for wrinkles or lines. There were none, apart from the very neatest and slightest of those that appear on anyone when they smile.

  “Well, you better believe it!”

  I’d never considered having my face injected with toxins, but seeing how good Jessica looked made me reconsider. Maybe I’d ask Ethan what he thought about it.