Cruise Ship Cozy Mysteries 11 - Cruise Control Read online

  “Then a hundred times the enthusiasm! A thousand!”

  “Those multiplied by zero are still zero.”

  I was grimacing at Holly’s words. Her chipper nature working a job that was paying her in exposure baffled me. A job where she wasn’t even interning for the thing she signed up to do, no less.

  “So, everyone,” Kelly said, trying to shift herself to something that she could control, “I suppose you want those VIP suites that I promised you.”

  “Yes. Yes, we do.” I beamed, nearly matching Holly’s cheer for once.

  I would be the first to admit that I loved being spoiled.

  Kelly led us down the halls to the VIP suites, opened the door for us, and then handed each of us our own special keycards for our own little piece of heaven.

  Including Holly, because nothing in this world could ever be perfect.

  That wouldn’t stop me from delighting in it, though. Going into the room, seeing the spaciousness that surrounded me, I could almost start to dance. A full kitchen. Two bedrooms. A sofa with a huge TV.

  Sure, it wouldn’t get a signal for the next five days, but for the next five days it was mine and that was all that mattered. I’d watch my big black screen of ‘SIGNAL NOT FOUND’ and relish that it was my very own dead signal.

  I guess it was Sam’s too. And Holly’s.

  “Hmm, looks like we’ve got a master bedroom and then a smaller cabin.” Sam pulled a coin out of her pocket. “Heads or tails, Addy?”

  “Tails.”

  “Heads it is for me, then.” She flipped the coin high in the air, getting some good rotation in it as it arced up.

  “Edge!” Holly said.

  We both looked at her with confusion, before the clink of the coin hitting the floor reclaimed our attention.

  “Darn,” Sam said. “I guess I have to rough it with the queen-size bed instead of the king-size one.”

  “Actually,” Kelly interjected, “the secondary suite beds are queen XLs. Slightly bigger than a standard queen.”

  Sam threw her head back and sighed. “I’m already buying the room, Kelly. You don’t need to sell it to me more. Literally can’t refuse it at this price.”

  A good point, since it was free for this trip. “So I guess I get to be the king of this castle and Sam is my XL queen.” I walked into my domain and fell backward onto my gigantic fluffy wonderful bed.

  “Where do I sleep?” Holly asked, no judgment on cutting her out of the initial decision.

  I sat back up as quickly as I fell. “Uh… there’s a sofa, I guess?”

  Her eyes lit up. “Wait, you mean… I get the biggest room of all?”

  I twitched a little when I saw her smile. I was almost starting to become jealous at how chipper she was.

  Kelly had made her way to the front door of the VIP cabin, ready to ditch it and leave us behind. “Well then, looks like you ladies have it all worked out. Enjoy your week in luxury. Internet-free luxury anyway, if you can even call that luxury. If you’ll excuse me, I still have a ton to do before the internet is taken away forever.”

  With that, she was gone, leaving me alone with my friend and Holly.

  Again, Holly was just standing near me, waiting for me to tell her what we were going to do next, like she was a lost child with no will of her own.

  Then genius finally hit me. “Hey, Holly.”

  “Yes, Ms. Addy? I mean, Addy.”

  “You signed up to study to be a social media intern, right?”

  “Uh-huh. I wanted to see what you did with all that. The stuff the ship posts is really pretty and interesting.”

  “So you’re probably more interested in that then whatever Sam is doing?” Sam was in the corner of my eye, almost judging me and knowing what I was going to do.

  “What we’ve been doing hasn’t been social media stuff?”

  “No, not at all.”

  She plopped herself on the bed beside me. “That’s kinda lame.”

  “Yeah, Kelly chose the weirdest trip to get us interns, but we play the hand we’re dealt. So I’m thinking, you should be doing something related to social media instead of just customer service like we’ve been asked to do this cruise.”

  “Ooh, like what?”

  “You know Vernon Nunn? The big important guy that has in the auditorium and the dining room?”

  “The long-haired hippie?”

  “Exactly. I want you to go to him and act as his liaison. Study him. Learn what you can about him. Then, when on our next trip, I’ll help you write an article, and you’ll be able to stop being an intern and become a full-time Swan of the Seas Social Media Associate.”

  “Wow, what a long and formal title.”

  I patted her on the shoulder and kept my smile wide. “Exactly. Get to know him. Talk to him. He seems like he needs a friend.”

  “Yeah, all of his co-workers seem kind of mean.”

  “Then you can brighten his day.”

  She nodded, paused, and then looked at me with concern again. “Why are you making me do this?”

  “Can’t you see? I’m already the social media director. Me publishing that article for the ship’s in-house magazine isn’t going to be productive in the slightest. I’m giving you the leg up, Holly.”

  “Wow. You’re a really nice boss, Addy.”

  “I know. I’m wonderful. You should make your way over to him now. See if he needs anything before nightfall.”

  She shot up off the bed, the spring-loaded person that she was. “All right. I’ll be right on it. I won’t let you down, Ms. Addy. I mean, Addy.”

  “I know you won’t. I can trust you, Holly.”

  “Yes, ma’am!” She darted off through the door, letting gravity close it behind her.

  “Hey—I…” Sam sighed. “I didn’t even tell her where Vernon’s cabin is.”

  “She seems smart. She’ll find it.”

  “Aren’t you suddenly one to have faith in her abilities.” Sam came in and took her place by side. She then stared at me accusingly.

  “What?”

  “You know what you did, Addy.”

  “I told her the truth. I wouldn’t get anything for writing an article about Vernon on the next trip. Holly, though? The credit could help her get the job she wanted. You still need extra hands for your liaisoning, or whatever it’s actually called. It’s win-win.”

  “Yes. This is all because of your goodwill and kindness and absolutely nothing to do with you wanting to run off someone who mildly annoys you.”

  “Nope. Not at all. I’m an innocent little angel.” I paused for a moment. “And she annoys me more than just mildly.”

  “Probably masking some dark secret about her past or whatever. No one’s that happy all the time.”

  “Never say someone can’t be something, Sam. They’ll always prove you wrong.” I slid off the bed with a yawn. “It’s been approximately five hours since I indulged in Greg’s fish and chips. I believe I have waited long enough to request more.”

  She rose to my side. “Sometimes I wonder if you’re here for the paycheck or the food.”

  “Can’t it be both?”

  Together we left our VIP suite, accepting that we could fawn over it later when we weren’t as hungry. As soon as we went into the hallways though, I almost ran face-first into a ladder.

  On the top rung digging around and doing something with wires was a… guy?

  A completely unfamiliar one to me.

  His ladder was blocking my path, and I didn’t want to risk knocking it over to squeeze by. “Uh, excuse me, umm, sir?” I said, raising a curious finger.

  A zipping sound followed as he bundled some cables together and stuffed the technical guts back into the ceiling. “I suppose you don’t want a ladder in your way.”

  “That and, I don’t mean to be nosy here, what are you doing?” I worked on the ship after all, and he could have well been some random passenger messing with the ship’s wiring. Some clueless man poking around wires and doin
g something wrong seemed like a fine way to start a fire.

  “I am currently installing cell signal blockers, as requested. I will move my ladder in a moment, if you would not mind being terribly inconvenienced by waiting a minute or two.”

  I couldn’t tell if he was being sarcastic or not. “And you are?”

  “Herman Graaf, technical engineer. Corporate sent me.”

  A chill hit me. This is the man Ethan had been talking about, literally just appearing outside my room.

  Don’t panic, Addy.

  He could have a perfectly legitimate reason to be fiddling with wires just outside my room. Besides, we probably had no reason to suspect him anyway.

  But Ethan still suspected him. Sam was here, so it was unlikely he was going to go and try and kidnap me again. If he even did any kidnappings in the first place.

  “So, not a normal worker on the ship?”

  “I think cruises are a tribute to the excess of our society and are a waste of time. So, no, I am not a regular.” There was a slight German accent to his voice. Or maybe I was imagining things because decades of movies have made me think of German people as cackling villains.

  “You just said you were from corporate. You work for a cruise company.”

  “I do. Life is funny like that sometimes.” He finished with the wires and slid a panel back into place. In his hand was a wad of zip ties. Those things that I’ve seen used as makeshift handcuffs during kidnappings and other events where you want to restrain people. “Is something wrong?”

  For a time, my gaze was locked on the zip ties he had. Him holding them wasn’t the most comforting sight.

  “Have you never seen zip ties before?”

  “Don’t mind her,” Sam intervened. “She spaces out sometimes. What would you need those for when you’re dealing with wires?”

  “Full of questions, huh? I use these to tie the wires up. If I let them hang freely, it becomes an unmanageable mess that I will have to deal with later. The effort to keep them neat and tidy in the first place is minimal by comparison.”

  “Didn’t you say you don’t come on this ship often?”

  “Yes. I would like to keep it that way, so I’m setting it up so I can remove the blockers just as simply as I installed them and not be called back to fix some other idiot’s mistake.” He slid down his ladder and snapped it closed. “There, I’m finished. Was waiting so bad?”

  Abruptly, he shoved the ladder under his arm and headed down the hallway, leaving me and Sam alone once more.

  “He’s kind of a jerk,” Sam said. “Can’t really disagree with his reasoning, though. You okay there, Addy?”

  I nodded and shook my head free of the cobwebs. “Sorry, just thought of something I shouldn’t have.” Zip ties were good for organizing wires. Not every person who carried zip ties around was a kidnapper.

  “Shame one of the blockers will be right outside our room. I was hoping just taking the nerds’ toys away would have been enough for them.”

  “Don’t underestimate a nerd’s dedication to getting his technology, Sam. There are ways of smuggling items in and having things you aren’t supposed to.”

  “Like what?”

  “Ways I’m not going to describe because I just got done thinking of terrible things.”

  There was only one thing that could cure me of my dread. “Food?”

  “Food.”

  “Let’s eat!”

  7

  VERNON

  A thousand words thrown at him but not a single one of them had a bit of truth in them.

  Vernon leaned back in his chair, turning to the bag he had kept close to him when he boarded, which he had used executive privilege to keep from being checked.

  Why did they have to come in here and yell at him? To be so hostile and confrontational with him? It wasn’t like he was blind and oblivious to the other executives’ complaints about this trip. They were addicts, every single one of them, and an addict will fight you if you try to take what they are addicted to away from them.

  That’s, like, the definition of an addict.

  A few days away from the toxic rays of the screen and other electrical radiation combined with the healing rays of the sun would do them well. They would wake up. They would acknowledge their problems, and they would see him for what he truly was.

  A visionary.

  There it was, his high-frequency satellite phone. It would surpass the blockers that prevented the rest of the LightningBlossom people from using the internet and other things. He allowed this of himself because he didn’t need to cure his addiction. He wasn’t addicted in the first place. He could use technology responsibly.

  In his preparations, he had left a similar phone, one that could only receive, with the chef of the ship. He shouldn’t have to deny himself convenience and luxury since he wasn’t the one being treated.

  “Yes. Send me… let’s say four, yes, four sandwiches. Shredded tofu, soaked in teriyaki sauce. Lettuce, diced tomatoes, some avocado. And put it all on some pumpernickel. You’ll have it right over? Namaste.”

  Ah, that was a midnight snack of kings. He was never one to follow the traditional three meal a day philosophy. The body was a machine, and it always needed fuel, and the fresher the fuel the better.

  Of course, he needed some entertainment to go with the night meal. So much of the ship’s stuff had been upgraded to run off the internet, so he had properly prepared.

  It didn’t feel so long ago that DVD players were a staple next to every TV. Before they dropped off in favor of fancier formats or just downloading the movies outright, they had gotten pretty small, so it wasn’t much to ask to sneak one into his bag along with the wires he’d need to get it connected to his suite’s television.

  He brought DVDs too, of course. He had only made that foolish mistake once before. Ah, Bruce Lee films. It would feed his desire for spirituality and zen while pleasing that desire for an old school kung fu movie. Most of the rest of LightningBlossom simply wouldn’t understand the deeper meaning of Lee’s actions.

  Just like they wouldn’t understand why it was morally right for him to enjoy this while they could not.

  While waiting for his food to arrive, he walked out onto the balcony of the ship and watched as the night’s darkness spanned for miles in distance. He felt so small, so insignificant, even though he did know he was so very important. The cool ocean breeze blowing into the room would make the cozy room somehow even cozier.

  A chime rang out. The doorbell. He slipped the DVD into the tray as he passed, pushing it in, and letting the movie load as he answered the door.

  “Hi, Vernon.” The voice was happy and playful, but something didn’t strike him as right about it. “I brought you the sandwiches you ordered.”

  That she did. A delectable plate with four full-sized sandwiches. He had ordered four thinking they would be small, like sliders, but the chef did not deal in dainty quantities apparently.

  “May I come in? I want to talk to you about something.”

  “Uh, sure…” He nodded and took the plate from her, letting her pass and closing the door behind her.

  Wait. He had forbidden contraband within.

  No. She wasn’t with LightningBlossom. But she was most definitely familiar to him.

  The girl walked in, looking around. “Wow, this place is even fancier than the VIP suite Addy got.”

  “It’s the best room on the ship, yes.” Who was Addy? That name also struck him as familiar.

  “Miss Addy wanted me to shadow you, Vernon. She wants to write an article with me or something like that, get me a proper job with the cruise instead of being an unpaid intern.” Her attention was drawn to the TV, which showed the DVD menu. “Wow, you like old kung fu movies?”

  “Well, yeah. Only the unenlightened don’t.”

  “Saying they’re unenlightened is a bit of a weird insult for people who don’t like the things you don’t, Vernon.” She smiled at him, almost flirtatiously. “I was wo
ndering… I’m supposed to be doing passenger liaisons and stuff with this trip anyway. You wouldn’t mind letting me be your personal liaison, no? Do a favor for an old friend?”

  An old friend? Wait.

  The gears turned and everything lined up. “Holly? Holly, is that you?”

  “Uh, yeah? Did you really already forget about me, Vernon? You said I was an unforgettable intern when I was working for you.”

  Unforgettably awful, yes. The enthusiasm was there, but she seemed to be a disaster waiting to happen next to technology.

  She had gotten a tan, and dyed her hair, on top of other more permanent adjustments to her appearance. It became all too clear now, even though it had taken him a moment to recognize her.

  “Umm, sure. That’s fine.” He knew with the media, reporters, and the like, it was better to be cooperative, to try to craft the image of you that they’d present. Being hostile to them rarely worked out. Besides, he didn’t hate Holly.

  Hardly. She was a sweet girl, and with how the other executives were treating him, he did feel a bit lonely at the top.

  “Would you like to join me for some teriyaki tofu and pumpernickel and Bruce Lee movies, Holly?”

  “Oh. Really? And that’s what it is? It smelled really good. If you’re offering, sure! Kung fu movies seem fun.”

  “Ah. Always good to have a friend. Would you like something to drink?”

  “Yes, please. Water is fine.”

  He grinned. “I meant something a bit harder than water.” Of the other things he had smuggled aboard was his favored wine brand, ethically sourced and brewed.

  “Water’s fine. Harder things don’t sit well with me.”

  If she didn’t want to drink, she didn’t have to drink.

  With a glass of wine poured and a water for Holly, they sat down on the plush sofa. The sandwiches were eaten, the water and wine drank, and the movies were watched.

  He had more than a few movies packed away for this five-day voyage, to be certain he didn’t run out.

  The hours passed, and with as exhausting as the day had been mentally, he had happily drifted off, the wine dribbling out of his mouth, and a little teriyaki sauce there as well.