Cruise Chaos Read online

  “Is it another celebrity?”

  “No…”

  Sam’s face scrunched up in thought as she considered all the possibilities for special events aboard a cruise ship.

  “Some kind of dance or musical thing?”

  “Nope,” I said with a smirk. “Considering the last two cruises we had, what do you think would be just about the worst idea possible?”

  “Hmm. A rehabilitation event for convicted murderers and other felons?” Sam said with a grin, clearly giving up on real guesses.

  “Ha, ha. But you’re actually pretty close. It seems our last cruise director planned a murder mystery event.”

  Sam stood up, mouth agape. “A murder mystery?” She was shaking her head in disbelief. “And they’re going ahead with it? After the last cruise?”

  I shrugged. “I guess it was already arranged and tickets had been sold. The show must go on, as they say. But I agree, it does seem to be in rather bad taste.”

  Sam walked over to the metal desk and leaned against it. “And you’re in charge of it?”

  “Yep. That’s why I want your help. Can you spare a hand for an hour or so?”

  Sam held up both arms. “You can have two. And the rest of me with it.”

  “Come on. Let’s see if we can find Cece on the way.”

  We found Cece still lounging around the mess hall with four empty cups of coffee in front of her and a slightly crazed gleam in her eyes.

  “Looks like you’ve had enough coffee. Come and give me a hand with some books?”

  Cece was on her feet before I’d finished speaking. She ran a hand through her long black hair.

  “Sure. Are you into reading now? Is that a new thing you’re doing?”

  I glared at her. “I’ve always read, Cece, but that’s not what we’re doing with the books. We’ve got to put together a library. Come on. I’ll explain on the way.”

  We all headed down to the conference suite which had been converted—well, only relabeled so far—into an English country mansion. It would need a generous splash of imagination on the part of the guests, but that was all part of the fun, or so the marketing team would say.

  “Here we are. Conference Room B, or, as I’ll be known from now on, The Library.”

  We marched inside. When I’d met the deliveryman earlier, he only had a single bookcase with him. Since then, he’d been back and forth with his work crew delivering all of the goods and furniture that we would need.

  The previous cruise director had arranged for everything to be delivered, but now I had to figure out how to properly set the scene. The room had been emptied of its standard desks and A/V equipment, and now we had to arrange several bookcases, two armchairs, a sofa, a few paintings, an electric fireplace, a deer’s head, several boxes of books, and other ornaments.

  “First, time to get this library looking like a library. Let’s put the books on the shelves and try and put the armchairs around that fireplace.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” said Cece, offering me a salute. I grinned back at her.

  We got to work, unpacking boxes and arranging furniture.

  “Let me give you a hand,” said Sam as she spotted Cece trying to single-handedly move a heavy bookcase.

  I opened up my manila envelope and pulled out the itinerary again. I read through it, but then stopped when I saw a name that struck me as familiar, though I couldn’t quite place it.

  “It says here that the guest of honor is a guy called Edward Dane. Ever heard of him?”

  “Nope!” shouted Cece with the confidence of someone who definitely knew what she didn’t know.

  “The Edward Dane?” asked Sam, dropping a pile of books she’d been carrying. She looked up at me with wide eyes, eyes glimmering.

  “Well, it’s an Edward Dane. Says here he’s… a writer?”

  “It is him! He’s a mystery writer. He writes murder mysteries!” Sam was bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet with excitement.

  “Huh. Well, great. I guess we’ll get to meet him later.”

  “Any others?” asked Sam breathlessly.

  I shook my head. “No one else is marked as being particularly special. Hold on…” I’d seen something rather worrying on the following page.

  “What is it?” asked Cece, stopping what she was doing and coming over to me.

  “This part. It seems there’s some acting roles that haven’t been assigned. There’s one, Lady Beverly Jax, which has Beverly’s name next to it. Guess I’ll take that part. But there’s two more marked with ‘TBA.’”

  “I’ll do it!” said Cece, clapping her hands together with excitement. “It sure beats the day job.”

  “Me too! I’d love to be in a play or a movie or something,” said Sam with a happy smile.

  “So of the other two roles, I’ve got a nosy reporter—”

  “Nope!” shouted Cece, shaking her head.

  “Me! I want to do it. I’ll be a nosy reporter just like you used to be, Adrienne.”

  I glared at her. I had not been a nosy reporter; I’d been a diligent reporter. That was until our small-town newspaper realized that our town was too small to support its own paper, and the business went under. That was one of the reasons I’d ended up on the cruise ship in the first place.

  “Great. Thanks, Sam.”

  “What about me? Can I be a sexy lounge singer? A dangerous seductress? A—”

  I winced. “Umm…”

  Cece narrowed her eyes and took a step toward me. If I didn’t already know her so well, I would have thought she were threatening me.

  “The other role is, a, umm…” It was actually quite funny, but I didn’t want to look like I was amused. It might annoy Cece if I did.

  “What?”

  “You’re going to be a maid.”

  Cece fell back with a dramatic flourish, collapsing into the armchair behind her.

  “Are you sh—”

  “It’ll be fun! You won’t really be cleaning. You’ll just be acting.”

  Cece crossed her legs and leaned forward. “It better be fun, or you’re dead, James.” She used my last name for extra emphasis.

  I gave her my sweetest smile. “It’ll be a great time. We have fun when we’re hanging out, don’t we?”

  Cece nodded begrudgingly, then hopped to her feet, her previous annoyance disappearing in an instant.

  “Ooh, did I tell you the other news?”

  Sam and I both look at her curiously.

  “What’s that?”

  “There’s a spy on board. Or there will be, with the passengers.”

  Sam and I exchanged wary glances. We both suspected something was going on behind the scenes, but neither of us had figured out what.

  “What do you mean? Like James Bond?”

  “No,” said Cece sadly. “Nothing that fun. Apparently, corporate hired someone to infiltrate the ship and see what’s going on here. They weren’t happy with the way the last two cruises turned out.”

  “Because of the murders?” asked Sam.

  “I guess. Corporate always overreacts.”

  Sam and I both laughed at that. After two murders in quick succession, it seemed hard to imagine any response as an overreaction.

  “Anyway, they’re going to be pretending to be a passenger. So be nice to all of them, just in case.”

  “I’m always nice to the passengers,” I said.

  “Yeah, me too,” said Sam.

  Cece frowned. “Really?” she said incredulously. “Guess I’d better step up my game. Especially if I’m going to be a fake maid.” She stepped around to examine the bookshelf she had been filling. “How does this look?”

  “Awesome,” I told her. “Now, let’s turn off the overhead lights and turn the lamp on. See how this room looks.”

  I turned on a tall floor lamp with a mustard-colored lampshade, while Sam hit the switch by the door to turn off the fluorescent lights overhead.

  The effect was instantaneous.

  “Whoa.
Not bad,” said Cece, nodding approvingly.

  While it didn’t look exactly like I imagined an English country mansion library would, it definitely gave the impression of such a place. With the armchairs and sofa, the lamp, the shelves full of musty-smelling old books (most of which appeared to be mysteries), and the flicker of fake flames from the electric fireplace, we had a pretty good set at least.

  “Fantastic!” Sam sat down in an armchair closest to the fire. She stretched out her legs, yawned, and then turned and caught Cece’s eye. “Maid?”

  Cece narrowed her eyes and gave Sam a dangerously curious look.

  “I’ll take a whiskey and cigar by the fire, thank you. And do be quick about it!”

  Cece stared at Sam for five seconds before grabbing a cushion from another armchair and tossing it at her head. The pair collapsed into giggles.

  “When you’re ready, let’s move on to the next room.”

  “The next room?” asked Sam incredulously.

  “Yep. We’ve got to set up a lounge as well, in Conference Room C.” I stood in front of Samantha. “Up, up, up!” I waved up arms to rouse them.

  “No whiskey, huh?” said Cece with a frown.

  As we left the ‘library’ to start on the next room, I realized I was actually enjoying myself. The sudden job switch had come as a shock, but it looked like I would have no problem handling it.

  As I flicked off the lamp, I mused that this cruise might turn out to be the best one yet.

  Chapter 3

  When we were halfway through setting up the lounge, Kelly appeared with six men behind her.

  “Adrienne! Oh, shoot!” she said as she entered at a hurried pace, clicking across the floor and spinning around as she looked at everything we had set up.

  “Hi, Kelly. What’s up?” I saw Sam and Cece giving me probing glances. “This is Kelly Cline, the acting cruise director.”

  “Oh, Adrienne. It looks wonderful. But…”

  I peered behind her. The men with her ranged from their early twenties to late sixties and they were all wearing overalls, clearly here to do some kind of physical work.

  “But?”

  “These men were supposed to set everything up. I meant to tell you, but it must have slipped my mind. Can you ever forgive me?”

  It’d been fun arranging the furniture, and she was so sweet I couldn’t be mad at her.

  “No problem. It’s good to know the locations anyway.”

  I glanced around the room and saw Sam and Cece were glaring at me. I guess they weren’t quite so happy to have missed out on the assistance of the six strapping men, at least three of whom were of an ‘interesting’ age and build.

  “So you’ve already done the library and the lounge. What about the game room and the diner?”

  “Ummm…” I pulled out my notes from the manila envelope again. As it turned out, one of the pages carried on to the following page. I had completely missed those locations. “Not yet…”

  “Well, great. That gives these guys something to do at least.” Kelly turned to the man closest to her who seemed to have the air of a foreman. “Looks like some of your work was done for you. Thanks for handling the rest.”

  “No worries,” he said with a smile. “Come on, boys. Let’s get this done and hit the pool.”

  “I…” Kelly’s words faltered as the men trooped out to set up the rest of the conference center for our murder mystery. She turned back to face me.

  “I don’t think they’ll be allowed in the pool. I expect someone will tell them.”

  “Yeah, right,” said Cece, helpfully from the back of the room.

  “Now, you need to find a maid and a reporter to help you out. Any ideas?”

  I nodded. “Yep, Sam and Cece here are going to help out. I think I’m getting my head around everything now. It should be a good event.”

  Kelly wiped the back of her hand dramatically over her brow. “Phew!” she said with a grin. “Thank goodness. Now, later, at around four o’clock, the goh will be here, and—”

  “The what now?” I said, interrupting her.

  “The goh, the G-O-H?”

  “Nope,” said Cece from the back of the room. “Can you try that again in English?” I gave her a sly smile. She was saying exactly what I was thinking, but was too polite to say out loud.

  “The Guest of Honor. It’s shorthand. It saves time.”

  “I bet it does,” said Sam, straight-faced.

  “Right, so the guest of honor will be here, with his wife, and Oliver McGinty.”

  “Who’s that?” asked Cece.

  I’d seen the name in my notes but I couldn’t quite remember. Luckily, Kelly knew.

  “He owns a bookshop that specializes in murder mysteries, and he’s loaned us all the books which are in the library here. While he’s not the G-O-H, we’re very grateful to him for all of his help.”

  I nodded at her. “Okay, got it. Four o’clock. I’ll be here. Will you be joining us?”

  “Ha!” she squealed. “I wish! I’ve got two trillion things to do before the guests board. But if you need help, don’t hesitate to call!”

  “Thanks. We better leave you to it, Kelly. You seem busy.”

  “Busy as a bee!” Kelly let out a little laugh, a sweet, high-pitched giggle. “See you soon!” She waved, spun around, and hurried out in a flash of yellow dress and black hair, seemingly as fast as her short legs could carry her.

  “Busy as a bee, and she’s dressed like one,” said Sam with a grin.

  “Let’s hope there’s no stinger in her tail,” said Cece. “Now, break open that whiskey.”

  I snorted and shook my head. “Whiskey? Yeah, right. I’ve got to go over these notes for the event. I can’t wrap my head around the plot yet. That Edward Dane is a tricky fellow.”

  The three of us headed off, leaving the workmen to finish setting up the final rooms.

  When I returned to the murder mystery library later that afternoon, it had fully developed the atmosphere one would hope to find at a murder mystery party. This was in no small part helped by the ‘cast’ of characters who had appeared for our evening meeting.

  The room looked even better than it had earlier. Kelly’s work team had found more ornaments and decorations and the room now featured a large fake bearskin rug, and a few more standing lamps with incandescent bulbs to up the illumination level without resorting to the harsh fluorescent overheads.

  The electric fire had been switched on, and now a fake flame danced across its glass front, while a hidden speaker filled the room with a recording of the gentle crackling of a real fire. When I first arrived, for a second I thought I could smell it too, but that was just my mind playing tricks on me.

  As I opened the door, I was greeted by a man dressed in an old-fashioned suit, who was leaning on a brass-pommeled cane. Although he was probably only in his fifties, he looked like he’d stepped out of a black and white film from the golden age of Hollywood. He acknowledged me with a head nod as I entered.

  “Good evening,” I said to him with a friendly smile, while subtly peering behind him to see who else was in attendance. There were just two other people so far. Near the bookshelves further back was a younger woman in her thirties talking to a gray-haired man in his late forties or fifties.

  “Edward Dane, novelist,” he said, punctuating his profession with a thump on the floor of his cane. It seemed to be more a prop than a mobility device.

  “Adrienne James, Acting Special Event Coordinator.”

  “Then you’d best start acting.”

  “Right. Yes. Let me try again.” I smiled at him as if greeting him again. “Lady Adrienne James of Harkness.”

  “Better. Not quite what I had imagined, but you’ll do.”

  “Gee, thanks,” I said awkwardly. “What did you imagine?”

  Edward tapped his cane on the floor thoughtfully. “Oh, I don’t know. Someone with some class, you know? A lady, not just a woman, as it were.” He pointedly looked me up an
d down like I was a mannequin in a store window. “But you’re not bad.”

  “Thanks,” I repeated, this time not worrying about whether I sounded sarcastic or not. With a little nod of my head, I walked past him, hoping the other two occupants of the room might be a little more friendly.

  By the bookshelf, the gray-haired man was busy pulling books off of the shelves and placing them back in different positions. Next to him was a lady just a few years older than myself, dressed in a glamorous black dinner gown, pearls dripping from her neck, talking enthusiastically and gesticulating wildly while the man seemed to focus mainly on the books.

  “…the twist at the end! I mean, the dog? A ghost? Ha! Oh…”

  The woman noticed my approach and stepped back slightly to create an inviting space for me to join them. The man finished pushing one more book back into place, then straightened up and looked at me.

  “Good evening! I’m Adrienne, and I’m in charge of this event.”

  “Oliver McGinty. These are my books.” He extended his hand toward me.

  “Sorry?” I said as I gently took and shook his hand.

  “My books. These. They’re from my mystery bookshop, Murder Most Delightful. Whatever apes they hired to put them back on the shelves threw them on with no semblance of order. Cozies and procedurals? Paranormal and Suspense? Magic cats and magic dogs? All mixed together? My cat could do better!”

  “Is it a magic cat?” I asked with a grin.

  He tilted his head at me. “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s an expression. These books are on loan and I requested that they be respected and looked after.” He looked back at the closest bookshelf again, shaking his head in disbelief.

  “Are they damaged?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Right. Hi,” I said, turning to the young lady. She smiled at me.

  “No, you’re not.”

  It was going to be one of those days. Why did everyone have to be so contrary all the time?

  “I’m not…?”

  “You said you’re in charge. No, you’re not. If anyone is, it’s my husband, the famous and renowned novelist Edward Dane.”

  I gritted my teeth and stretched the corners of my mouth upward. “Yes, he prepared a wonderful plot for us,” I said, nodding as if in agreement with her. “I mean, I’m running the Swan Cruises side of things. The staff, the locations, the day-to-day.”