Cruise Ship Cozy Mysteries 05 - Cruise Conundrum Read online

  There were more people about to step aboard, but before I could go and greet them my phone buzzed with an incoming text. It was from Cece.

  Fake housekeeper here!

  As soon as I read the message, I knew exactly who Cece meant.

  The fake housekeeper was a man I’d seen on the last cruise acting very suspiciously. When I’d first noticed him, he’d been wearing a housekeeper’s uniform, but later on, I saw him disguised as a guest and had interrupted him dancing with Kelly Cline, the cruise director.

  Cece had found a hidden bag with what we believed were his various disguises in it—along with a gun. We didn’t manage to catch him though, and the last I’d seen of him, he was disappearing into a crowd on the docks in New Orleans.

  But now it looked like he was back on board.

  As fast as I could hurry without being obvious, I left the VIP reception and headed straight for the deck that Cece was supposed to be keeping spick and span.

  When I arrived, there were couples and small groups standing around, luggage by their sides and many of them with fancy-looking cameras hanging around their necks. These were the regular passengers, waiting to check in and get to their rooms.

  “There you are!” said a voice in my ear.

  I jumped in surprise. It was Cece, but she had been standing right next to the door I’d exited from so I’d missed her when I stepped outside.

  “Where is he?” I asked.

  “Gone.”

  “Gone? Gone where? What do you mean gone?”

  “Sorry. I tried. But they let all these people on at the same time, and one of them kept harassing me.”

  Cece made a point of turning her head and glaring at a man with his family a few yards away from where we were standing.

  “Who’s that?” I asked with a furrowed brow.

  Cece shrugged. “Some guest. He assumed I was a customer liaison and expected me to answer all his annoying questions.”

  “Why didn’t you do your normal trick?” I asked.

  Her normal trick was pretending she didn’t speak English. Cece was from Puerto Rico, and by speaking only in Spanish she could avoid conversations with monolingual guests she didn’t want to speak to.

  “I did do my normal trick, but he just asked me the same question again in Spanish. Totally unfair. It’s like, my one special skill.”

  “Hey, you’ve got loads of skills!”

  Cece tapped her chin. “I guess I’ve got my looks,” she said, offering me a pouty air-kiss.

  I laughed. “But back—”

  “And my moves,” she said interrupting me while she did a little slinky dance move. Several people turned to watch her to see if she was going to follow up with any more. She probably would have if I hadn’t said anything.

  “Right. You’re a great dancer but—”

  “And of course, get me in the bed—”

  “Cece! You’re super talented. But the man. Where did he go?”

  “Oh yeah, him. Well, once I got rid of Mister Spanish Speaker over there,” she cast another bitter glance at the oblivious man, “I tried to find him but he was gone. But just before I lost him, I swear I saw the captain watching him too.”

  “The captain? Our captain?”

  “Oh yeah. He greeted a couple of guests, but I don’t think that was really what he was doing. Usually he only greets the VIPs. I think he was keeping an eye on the guy.”

  This was interesting. Very interesting. There was something about the captain that didn’t sit right with me, but I didn’t have any specific information about him yet.

  I had learned on previous cruises that the captain was on his ‘last chance,’ but I had no idea how he’d messed up his previous chances. He must have gotten in trouble with the company for something, but I had no clue as to what he’d actually done.

  At the end of our previous cruise, I had been about to chase after the fake housekeeper on the docks, but the captain had stopped me, telling me that I was still on duty and couldn’t disembark. Technically, he was completely right, but I had a feeling he’d only done it to stop me from chasing after the man.

  So all in all, the captain didn’t strike me as trustworthy.

  “I don’t suppose you’ve found anything else out about this captain, have you?”

  Cece shook her head. She was normally my best source of gossip, but she only worked on this particular ship. She hadn’t found out this captain’s secrets. Yet.

  “Ask Kelly,” suggested Cece.

  “Yeah, I’ll do that. I tried before but she wasn’t very forthcoming. She just told me not to gossip, remember?”

  Kelly Cline had served on another ship with our current captain in the past, but she was quick to clam up when I pressed for details.

  “Yep. And we weren’t even gossiping at the time, just asking a couple of questions. You need to get her drunk.”

  “What?”

  Cece gave me a wicked grin. “Get her drunk and take advantage of her.”

  “Cece!”

  “Oh, come on. I’m kidding. But seriously, have a drink with her. If she thinks you’re friends, she’ll open up to you. Tell you what she knows.”

  Around us, the crowd of people had gotten thicker. The check-in staff for the non-VIPs was getting slightly overwhelmed. Still, the guests all just looked thrilled to be aboard and there didn’t seem to be any serious rumblings of complaint.

  “Okay, I’ll see what I can do. She always seems so busy though.”

  “That’s good. Means she could use a drink, and you know she’s going to knock them back.”

  The mental image alone had me laughing. Kelly seemed to do everything at double speed; from walking to eating, she moved like greased lightning. She didn’t seem to accomplish twice as much as everyone else though. If she applied the same work ethic to her drinking, she’d be drunk before I took my third sip.

  “Excuse me? Am I in the right place to check in?”

  Cece and I both turned to look. It was an elderly white-haired man with a camera around his neck, and he was clutching a VIP ticket.

  “Que?” said Cece, cocking her head at him.

  “Ignore her,” I said to the man. “She doesn’t speak English right now. This is the regular passenger check-in area. I’ll take you up to the VIP area, it’s much less hectic.”

  “Thank you,” said the man gratefully. “Lead the way and I’ll follow. By the way, what did you mean by ‘she doesn’t speak English ‘right now?’”

  “Oh, she’s a bit slow. Still learning, I’m afraid,” I said, patting Cece on the shoulder. “She’ll get there one day. Isn’t that right?”

  “Que?” said Cece with narrowed eyes.

  “Follow me!”

  Leaving Cece behind to keep the deck clean and avoid speaking to passengers, I took the man to the VIP check-in.

  The fake housekeeper was back on board, and this time, I wasn’t going to let him slip away.

  I’d track him down and find out just what it was he getting away with. And whether he was in cahoots with our last-chance captain.

  Chapter 3

  By the time the sun was setting, we had all the passengers aboard the ship and it was almost time to cast off.

  I was on my way to see First Officer Hot Stuff—more formally known as First Officer Ethan Lee. As usual, there was an orderly stationed outside of his office door.

  “Is he in?” I asked with a smile. This time, the orderly was a young dark-haired man who was used to my frequent visits to the first officer’s cabin, and had recognized me on sight.

  “Yes, ma’am. Let me just check if he’s available.”

  I waited a moment while he called Ethan on the intercom and cleared my entry to his office.

  “He says to go on in,” said the orderly with a smile.

  The heavy door swung easily on silent hinges, and as soon as it opened, I inhaled the familiar scent of mahogany furniture and Ethan’s own piney aftershave.

  Going into his office was com
forting, like warming yourself in front of a fire on a cold winter’s day, or wrapping yourself in a blanket while watching the snow fall on the cornfields outside. Not that there would be cornfields or snow down where we sailed.

  “Adrienne,” said Ethan brightly. Knowing I was coming, he’d gotten up from his position behind the big wooden desk and crossed the room to meet me.

  “Ho—Ethan!” I said, correcting my mistake before he could notice. From the slight narrowing of his eyes, I wondered if I hadn’t been as quick as I thought. But luckily, he was too much of a gentleman to point out that he knew I had nearly called him Hot Stuff to his face. It was a nickname that Cece, Sam, and I had for him, even before he and I started being close.

  “I missed you,” he said.

  He stopped right in front of me and slowly reached forward and squeezed my hand. Not hard, not too soft, but just the right amount. A slow squeeze that, despite its seeming innocence, had me staring at him wide-eyed with surprise at the sensual warmth of it.

  I felt the warmth spreading through my cheeks but I wasn’t embarrassed by it. No, I was too busy thinking just how much I liked being around Ethan. With Ethan.

  Cheeks aflame, I stepped back from him with what felt like a permanent smile on my face.

  “I… missed you too,” I said nervously.

  Had that just happened? Had I hallucinated it? The man had only squeezed my hand, but the intensity of the feeling between us was remarkable.

  “Good. Glad to hear it. We’ve had some bad luck on the last few cruises, but this time, I was hoping we could spend a bit more time together. What do you say?”

  “YES!” I felt my cheeks going even redder. I was being way too obvious. Tone it down, Addi. “I mean, yeah. I’m sure we’ll both be busy, but I hope we can find some time.”

  “I often have to eat dinner with the VIPs and the captain, but how about we start eating breakfast together? In the Croissant Club?”

  He was asking me out to one of the ship’s smaller eateries, but one of its most intimate. And from the sounds of it, it wouldn’t just be a one-time thing.

  “Like, regularly?” I asked, excited but uncertain.

  He nodded. “Yeah. It’s the time of the day when we shouldn’t have anything scheduled.”

  I usually caught up with Cece and Sam in the staff mess at breakfast, so I’d be missing out on their company.

  But Hot Stuff.

  It was one of those difficult decisions that was actually really easy. I saw Sam and Cece all the time anyway, but finding a moment with Ethan was always way harder than it should have been. I knew exactly what they would say to me: do it.

  “All right. We’ll be the Croissant Club Crew. It’ll be nice.”

  As soon as I said it, I came to another realization. I’d need to be ‘with it’ first thing in the morning from now on. No more morning-zombie Adrienne, I’d have to be alert and chipper. Not that I felt like I couldn’t be myself around Ethan, I did feel comfortable with him, but still, I didn’t want to reveal all my flaws quite yet.

  Maybe I should start going to the gym with Cece in the morning before meeting him for breakfast. Better to think on it first and give myself time to get used to morning breakfast dates before I added a torture session into the mix as well.

  “How’s this cruise looking for you?” asked Ethan. “The work, I mean?”

  I shrugged. “No disasters yet. There’s a big photography event going on this time which should be interesting. Hopefully it’ll be less dramatic than the last cruise.”

  “Indeed. The last several trips have all been too hectic for my liking. Here’s to lazy breakfasts, taking pictures, and a relaxing voyage.”

  “That sounds great. Okay, I should get my face out there again. There’s a lecture starting soon I need to be at.”

  “Enjoy the lecture. We’ll catch up later.”

  He gave my arm a warm squeeze, and as we parted our hands brushed, our fingers running against each other. With cheeks flushing again I waved him off and headed for the lecture.

  Ready to snap some pictures of the lecture-goers, I rolled up to the auditorium with my phone in hand and a bounce in my step I hadn’t had since… well, ever.

  Outside the auditorium, I saw Kelly standing outside with a look of consternation on her face. Actually, her “standing” was more like hopping from foot to foot as if the carpet was on fire.

  “Hey Kelly. What’s up?” She was always frantic, so I wasn’t exactly worried.

  “Adrienne! Oh, thank goodness you’re here. It’s a disaster!”

  My smile faltered. I wasn’t sure yet if this was a Kelly-level disaster or an actual disaster. She could be overdramatic at times.

  “What’s the matter? Anything I can do to help?”

  Kelly wiped her brow with the back of her hand in a big show of relief.

  “Oh, thank you! I knew I could count on you—I knew it! I should have known Adrienne James would come through. You always do, don’t you?”

  “Err…” When I’d offered to help, I didn’t realize I’d been volunteering for something. “What is it that you want me to do?”

  Kelly held up a paper program that she’d been holding and tapped at the title of it with her index finger, the bright yellow nail polish seeming to make the gesture even more urgent than it naturally was.

  The title of the lecture was “A Brief History of Photography” presented by a Dr. James Clearson.

  “Looks… interesting?” I inflected it like a question in hopes of coaxing some more information out of her.

  “Oh, I hope so! I’m sure you’ll do great! I found out half an hour ago that he missed the boat. I didn’t know I was going to do until you came along.”

  “Wait, you want me to give the lecture? About the history of photography?”

  “A brief history of photography,” said Kelly, bobbing her head up and down. “Just an hour or two!”

  Oh, cornstalks. What had I gotten myself into? Maybe there was still time to weasel out of it. All I could do was try.

  “I did take a course on photography in college. But I don’t think I could talk about it off the top of my head…”

  “No problem! He emailed us his presentation slides last week. It’s got notes, photos, everything. You’ll knock it out of the park!”

  I was in such a good mood after my meeting with Ethan that I felt brimming with newfound confidence. I bet I could knock it out. Why not give it a go? Maybe I could get a favor out of Kelly in return, or at least get her to come out for a drink like Cece suggested.

  “The lecture starts at seven, right? What time is it now?”

  Kelly and I both pulled out our phones and checked at the same time.

  “Six forty-five,” we said in unison.

  “Right,” I said with a determined nod of my head. “Here’s what we’re going to do. I need some time, at least half an hour to go over the notes if I’m going to even pretend to do a passable job at this. In the meantime,” I paused for a moment, trying to figure out how to not embarrass myself and make the whole event a disaster, “why don’t we get a cocktail cart in there? Loosen them up and make them a more sympathetic audience, as an apology for the delay, while I go over those lecture notes.”

  “Right. Free cocktails!” said Kelly, nodding her head up and down very quickly. “I know! I’ll ask Minnie to serve them. Her café will be closing in a minute, and she’s got a real way with people.”

  “Great idea! You go and take care of that and I’ll start looking at the presentation notes. At seven, I’ll make an announcement to the audience, and hopefully you’ll turn up with a cocktail cart to save the day. Okay?”

  Kelly clapped her hands together in a one-woman round of applause.

  “Back soon!”

  She was already gone before the reality of what I’d agreed to do had really sunken in.

  Why, Adrienne, why? I asked myself as I entered the auditorium.

  It was relatively small, as auditoriums go at lea
st, with seating for around eighty people. The air inside was dry and smelled of the upholstery of the red fold-down seats, which ascended in semi-circular rows from the small stage at the front of the room.

  I walked down the center aisle, offering polite greetings to those who had arrived already. At the front of the room was a lectern, on the right-hand side of the stage was a desk with a computer on it, and a large white projection screen dominated the center of the stage. On the screen it already read “A Brief History of Photography.”

  I sat down at the computer, and it was with some relief that I saw at least everything was there and ready to go. There was a little clicker I could use to move through the slides while on the stage, and after a brief test I saw that it was in working order.

  All I needed to do was go through the slides, re-learn the entire history of photography, and then stand up and give a presentation on it to a crowd of enthusiasts like I really was an expert.

  Too easy.

  “You can do it, Adrienne,” I whispered to myself.

  There was muffled laughter from the few people already sitting in their seats. I frowned. What did they have to laugh at? One of them must have told a joke. Whatever. I wasn’t paying attention to them, at least not yet. I had to focus on myself and the presentation.

  “All right! Give it your best, Adrienne! Yeah!” I whispered again.

  There was more laughter, and I stared out at the crowd. They were all looking at me. But they couldn’t have heard me, could they?

  My eyes, and then my hands, closed around the wireless microphone sitting on the desk. Tentatively, I picked it up. There was crackling from the speakers.

  “Oh, cornstalks!”

  There was more laughter as I flicked the switch to turn it off. Great. They’d heard me hyping myself up over a live mic and would no doubt think I was an idiot before I’d even started.

  Way to impress the audience, Adrienne.

  I switched off the feed to the big projector screen and began to flip through slides. There were dozens of them, but luckily a lot of the information was familiar to me from my college days. My memory was a little rusty, but seeing the pictures and the brief captions or bullet points was enough to bring a lot of it back.