Cruise Ship Cozy Mysteries 10 - Bed and Breakfast and Cruises

  Chapter 1

  I was clutching a paper cup that had The Rusty Anchor emblazoned on its side, along with the logo of the aforementioned anchor that served as the restaurant’s logo. Inside it was the last cup of really good coffee I was going to have for a whole week.

  We were about to set off on another cruise, and had grabbed our farewell drinks before we boarded.

  We were standing on one of the highest decks of the ship, leaning on the railing and looking down toward the dock or beyond to the distant skyline of the modern parts of New Orleans.

  “So how was the farm?” asked Cece, my Puerto Rican friend who worked in the housekeeping department.

  “I told you, I don’t live on a farm.”

  I had gone back home to Nebraska during my shore leave and spent a restful few days with my family.

  “Yes, you do,” said Sam. She was my best friend from home, and she knew perfectly well exactly where my home was located.

  “I live next to a farm,” I clarified.

  Sam decided that even further clarification was needed.

  “In a farmhouse.”

  “That makes you a farmer in my book,” said Cece laughing at me.

  “It was a lovely trip home,” I said, rising above them. “Though it felt a bit anticlimactic,” I said with some mild disappointment at the recollection.

  “What do you mean?” Cece gave me a quizzical smile. “I haven’t been home in a couple of years.”

  “The thing is, nothing had changed. I mean, I didn’t want anything to have changed, but it felt like time had stood still. The things people were talking about, were the same things they were talking about a year ago. And they weren’t that interested in what I’d been up to. I barely even told them about the first cruise, let alone all the others. They don’t know half the adventures we’ve had. They were more interested in talking about the local high school football team or next year’s corn prices.”

  “I heard it’s like that,” said Sam. “They don’t know any better though. You can’t blame the people back home. We’ve changed Addi.”

  “Have we, really?”

  “You both definitely have,” said Cece nodding her head adamantly. “When you all arrived on the ship, you were a right pair of landlubbers. It was like you’d never even seen the ocean before.”

  “I hadn’t,” said Sam, her voice seemingly tinged with mild amazement at the realization.

  “Like it or not, you have changed, we all do.”

  I thought about what she said. Since I’d started working on the ship so many different things had happened to me, it would be a miracle if I hadn’t changed even a bit. I’d certainly toughened up, and wisened to some of the ways that people could be deceitful — or worse. We sure had some troublesome guests over the various cruises.

  “I just worry that I won’t be happy when I move back home, now,” I said with a frown.

  “Do you want to?” asked Cece. “Move back home?”

  “Of course! At least, I think I do.” Suddenly I felt puzzled. “Don’t I?”

  Cece and Sam giggled at me.

  “Don’t you fancy spending the rest of your days sailing the seven seas with Ethan?” Cece nudged me in the side as she spoke, the small tilt of her lips letting me know she was half-joking.

  “I… don’t know. This job is fun and all, but it would be nice to settle down somewhere one day, wouldn’t it? Back home, ideally.”

  “Home? You know what they say,” Cece waved her coffee cup around dramatically for emphasis. I was pleased it had a lid on it. “Wherever you hold your smart phone, that’s your home.”

  “Who says that?” Sam gave her a dubious look. “I thought the saying was something about hats.”

  “I don’t know, someone famous,” said Cece with a shrug. “Or maybe it was me.”

  With my free hand resting gently on the railing, I peered down at the people on the dock far below us. They were scurrying about doing all kinds of things. Some of them worked in the port, some of them were from our ship, and others belonged to some of the other vessels currently docked.

  I saw a familiar face. Well, it wasn’t the face that was familiar, it was the uniform. Thanks to the hat on top of his head, and the oblique angle of our position, I couldn’t see his face. But I’d still recognize him anywhere. It was Ethan, or First Officer Hot Stuff, as we had christened him before I started dating him.

  He seemed to glance up in our direction, and I stuck my hand out over the side of the ship to wave at him. Even at our great height above the dock, I could see the broad smile on his face. He lifted a hand and tilted his head up at me, before waving.

  “They seem to be getting on well together,” said Sam.

  It took me a moment to realize what she meant. Then I paid attention to the figure next to Ethan. It was our new captain, who so far seem to be a distinct improvement on the old one, even if he did have a few rather interesting quirks of his own.

  “Hi, guys!” said a really loud voice beside us.

  “Hey.” I smiled a friendly greeting at Kelly Cline, Cruise Director, who had just arrived to stand next to us. She was now gripping the rail, her midnight black nails contrasting against the white railing of the ship.

  “Look! It’s the Captain!” She lifted a hand and pointed with a sharp looking index finger down at exactly where we were already looking.

  “Yes, so —”

  I didn’t get to finish what I was saying.

  “— HEY! HEY! UP HERE! WE’RE UP HERE!” A frown appeared on Kelly’s face when she got no reaction. “HEY!” she yelled again even louder causing the rest of us to wince.

  Far below, Ethan nudged the Captain who had appeared to be completely oblivious to Kelly’s enthusiastic hollering. He raised a hand to his eyebrows to shield it from the sun, and looked up at us, smiling.

  “HELLO UP THERE!” He shouted with a booming voice I hadn’t known he possessed. “HOW ARE YOU ALL?”

  “GREAT!” shouted Kelly in keen response. She then proceeded to swing to use the pointed index finger of both hands to jab me and Sam in the sides. “Answer him,”she hissed, “he’s the Captain!”

  “I don’t want to shout,” I said to her.

  “Don’t be rude, you have to.”

  After muttering briefly, I steeled myself and did as commanded.

  “GOOD!” I yelled down over the side, somewhat more feebly than Kelly had done. Sam echoed me with a cry of, “O…K…!”

  I felt like everyone on the dock was staring at us now. Probably because they were. No doubt wondering who these four crazy women that needed to shout down from high up on the ship were.

  “HOW’S THE WEATHER UP THERE!?” yelled the Captain at us, pausing between each yelled word.

  Exactly the same as down there, I wanted to say.

  “HA! HA! HA!” Kelly really wanted to show her amusement and natural laughter just wouldn’t cut it — the sound wouldn’t carry far enough, so she sounded out the syllables of laughter instead.

  “You can talk to him when he comes on board in a minute,” I said to Kelly through gritted teeth. She completely ignored my not very subtle hint and my tone.

  “But this is so fun, isn’t it?” She put her hands up to her mouth to cup it. “THE WEATHER IS GREAT. HOW IS IT DOWN THERE?”

  I saw the Captain cupping his own mouth with his hands, but before he could shout up at us again, Ethan seemed to lean in toward him and say something. The Captain gave a reluctant nod, and then proceeded to raise one hand in the air and give us a thumbs up. He then pointed at himself, and then pointed at the ship, to ind
icate that he was about to board.

  “That was fun, wasn’t it?” said Kelly, bright-eyed with delight.

  “Oh, yeah,” said Cece with a level of sarcasm far greater than any I had ever mastered. Kelly did not notice.

  As well as being the Cruise Director for the Swan of the Seas, she was my and Sam’s immediate boss. We suspected she had a crush on our new Captain, and the noisy previous couple of minutes had done nothing to dispel that idea.

  Kelly’s mouth suddenly dropped open, her eyes widened, and a hand went up to her lips in surprise.

  ”Oh, shoot! I forgot! Got to go!”

  And, so, as quickly as she had appeared, Kelly was scurrying off again, leaving us all with slightly less hearing in each of our ears.

  “Oh, look, it’s Ryan.”

  The ship’s chief doctor, and Cece’s paramour, was wheeling two suitcases along the dock toward the ship.

  “Didn’t you spend your shore leave with him?” asked Sam.

  “Ye-es,” said Cece somewhat hesitantly. It was unlike her to be hesitant about anything. She was an all-or-nothing, everything’s the best or the worst kind of a person, so the tentativeness was remarkable for its mildness.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong. The problem is everything’s going too right. Still. It’s making me nervous.”

  Sam and I couldn’t help but laugh at that. Who else could complain about things in their love-life going too right, but Cece? She was one of a kind.

  “I’ve got a question,” announced Cece, clearly eager to change the topic.

  I pulled my gaze away from the docks and leaned my arm on the side as I turned to face my friend, deciding to indulge her. “Oh?”

  “What’s a B&B?”

  “You don’t know?” I asked her incredulously. “We’re about to board a whole bunch of people from the industry and you don’t even know what they do?”

  She shrugged. “You know I didn’t go to college,” she said with a tone that was just a little too sweet.

  Sam and I tried to keep straight faces. I succeeded, and although Sam didn’t she got away with it because Cece was busy watching me.

  “B&B means bed and breakfast, it’s—”

  “Wait, that’s a job?” Cece’s lifted in excitement. “What am I doing here? How do I become a professional bed and breakfaster? Those two things are a major part of my skillset.”

  “It’s like a little hotel. Usually out in a rural area, and usually family run and pretty small. And you get breakfast included in your stay.”

  Cece’s face fell a little. “Huh. And what are they doing on board the ship?”

  “Having a conference. It should be interesting, they’re British apparently.”

  “Ooh, British? Neat. I’ve never met royalty before.”

  “Umm, I don’t think any of them are royals. If they were they’d be busy swanning around their palaces instead of running a little hostelry.

  “British, royal, whatever,” said Cece with a shrug. She lifted her arm and pointed at something. “Look.”

  Like well-trained circus animals, Sam and I did as instructed and turned to look.

  In the distance we could see Shaun Anderson, one of the ship’s pool boys — sorry, life guards, — talking to an apron-wearing girl from catering.

  Sam put her hands on her hips and glared. In the past Shaun had a crush on Sam, and it had taken her months to finally let him know that she really wasn’t interested. Strangely, she didn’t seem to be all that happy that he had moved on and was now paying attention to other people.

  “What’s he doing?” demanded Sam.

  “Talking,” I said.

  “Flirting,” said Cece with a knowledgable nod. “Look at the way she’s giggling. And look, she’s grabbing his arm. Some arm, isn’t it?”

  “He’s ridiculous,” said Sam with a huff.

  Shaun’s apparent flirtations and our conversation were rudely interrupted by a long blast of the ship’s whistle.

  “That’s us,” I said.

  It was time to welcome aboard our latest crop of happy cruisers.

  Oh, and the Bed and Breakfast association.

  Metaphorically, I rolled up my sleeves.

  Let’s get this show on the road.

  Chapter 2

  Cece had left us to do whatever last minute preparations the Housekeeping department needed to do. I suspected it involved a sun lounger near the Lagoon Pool, but I’d never say it out loud.

  Sam and I moved inside the ship to the Arrivals area where I’d begin by taking pictures of the happy and excited cruisers as they arrived. Sam, as a customer liaison, would help them out where she could, flitting about like a fairy godmother of assistance.

  Behind me, a flutter of rapid high-heel clicks told me that Kelly was approaching. She had a gait that was about twice the speed of anyone else’s, and she seemed to perpetually be in the middle of one crisis or another in which speed was of the essence. I turned, smiled, and greeted her by name before my eyes had even landed on her.

  “How do you do that?” asked Kelly in oblivious awe at my perceptiveness.

  I shrugged. “Practice. Is there anything I need to be aware of this cruise? Should I be paying attention to anyone in particular?”

  “Yes!” Kelly froze as soon as she’d said it and a slight flush crept across her cheeks. “I mean, no.”

  “That’s not weird, Kelly.”

  “Wasn’t it?” she asked hopefully.

  “It was weird,” said Sam beside me. “What is it Kelly? You can tell us.”

  “But I’m not supposed to gossip. Your sneaky question took me by surprise and I almost blurted it out, even though I’m not supposed to.” Kelly stamped a foot on the floor with another loud click in annoyance at herself.

  “You’ve got to tell us now. You’re not allowed to tease us like that. It’d be bad for morale.”

  “Bad for… morale?”

  Sam and I both crossed our arms in front of our chests and gave her a harsh nod each.

  “Very bad,” said Sam.

  “Just don’t tell anyone, okay?”

  Kelly’s eyes flicked behind us. I glanced over my shoulder to see where she was looking. The first of the passengers had arrived. “Quickly,” I said to Kelly with a nod. I didn’t want her to leave us hanging now. While I didn’t think whatever she was going to tell us would be all that earth-shattering, the suspense was killing me.

  “Corporate briefed me on this, but I guess it might be useful for you two to know anyway. These B&B people are apparently renowned for their in-fighting and backstabbing. In fact, that’s why they’re here—”

  “They heard this was a good place for stabbing?” asked Sam sweetly.

  I tried to keep a straight face and mostly failed.

  “No!” Kelly shook her head emphatically. “They used to just meet at different B&Bs, rotating around, but things have become so acrimonious between them all that they can’t agree on a location anymore. They were always fighting and bribing and tricking each other to get the honor of hosting. The new head of their association got fed up with them all and decided they’d move it out of the country and onto a cruise ship instead. That’s why they’re here.”

  “I was wondering why they’d come so far afield. So should we expect trouble?”

  “We should never expect trouble from any of our esteemed guests. We’ll just have to make sure we keep them all having so much fun they don’t have time to fight.”

  “Or stab,” said Sam.

  Kelly narrowed her eyes at my friend in annoyance. I hoped Sam was right though, we’d had enough troubles aboard the ship in our recent cruises that I rather hoped the B&Bers would be nicer than what Kelly seemed to be predicting.

  “The word is,” continued Kelly, “that she’s trying to make the association a far friendlier group. She wants to reduce the competitiveness and make them a more cooperative association that will work together to help their industry, instead of usi
ng the meetings to one-up each other.”

  “Great.” I smiled as enthusiastically as I could. I wasn’t really interested in the ins and outs of a foreign trade association. I just hoped they would be polite enough that they wouldn’t upset any of us, and that they didn’t kill each other. Was that too much to ask?

  Kelly looked over her shoulder again, squinting, and then she slapped her hands together in a loud clap. “It’s Bernice! Come on! Quick, quick.”

  With the same bemused look that we often found on our faces while working aboard the Swan of the Seas, Sam and I hurried after Kelly as she rushed to greet one of the people boarding.

  The woman in question was middle everything. Middle-aged. Middling height. Average weight. Brown hair that was half-way between light and dark, and neither short nor long. She had beige-brown bags and was wearing a blue dress that was just the right nondescript kind of color to be unnoticeable. She smiled at us as we approached, but in a way that suggested gentle politeness rather than overt friendliness

  “Bernice, right? Bernice Burford?” Kelly had one small hand thrust out in front of her and as soon as the woman she was greeting offered her own, she was immediately shaking it up and down enthusiastically.

  “Yes, I’m Bernice.” The woman spoke in a measured, clipped British accent that had an air of coolness about it. She seemed a little bit nervous at Kelly’s almost manic friendliness.

  “I’m Kelly Cline, Cruise Manager, here to make this cruise better than any stay in a B&B could ever be!”

  Bernice’s features stiffened as her face took on a notably cold expression. “I see.”

  “And this is my team! Or part of my team. Two parts of it in fact. Two lovely, lovely parts of it!” Kelly pulled her hand back from Bernice and pointed at Sam and me in turn. “This is Sam, one of our most talented Customer Liaisons who will be happy to help you at any time, day or night!”

  I looked at Sam’s face for confirmation of this rather massive increase in her work duties. She had a smile on her face that looked like she’d stolen it from a children’s doll, so fake did it appear.

  “And this is Addi, our Social Media Manager extraordinaire! She’ll put your B&B on the map!”

  I would?